


The West Wing Drabble Collection

by Sokorra



Series: The "Quote" Prompt Series [11]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 23:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 40
Words: 35,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1282945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokorra/pseuds/Sokorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles written to quote prompts that are not long enough to warrant their own space.  Some of which have been incorporated into long stories, some that might be.  There will be multiple pairings and relationships, though its usually going to be Josh/Donna in some way.  They seem to be the characters that communicate to me the most.</p><p>All drabbles are 500 words or less.  There will be 2-3 drabbles per chapter.  Drabbles can be missing scenes, alternative POVs and a few are AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. February '14 Part One

**“And I’m not that big, am I? And if you teach big children, then you teach big things, that I might not even know yet. I might not even know what they mean** yet.”

_Karen ‘Outnumbered’_

~*~

Donna leaned against the doorway as she watched Josh lead a tour of the White House for a bunch of academically advanced children who were attending a conference for those interested in government in DC.  They were all 13-14 years old and hanging on to every word Josh said.

Sometimes it was a toss up whether Josh would be a good host or not.  It depended on his pressure level and how much he gave a damn, but when it came to the smaller children he always had a smile and seemed to know how to tell them about the White House and not make it sound like he was talking down to them.

He was a good teacher. She knew that.  He liked talking to group of students, of various ages.  She thinks he should consider that as a employment alternative when Bartlett’s term ends.  If he doesn’t work for the Vice President when he becomes President.  Or whoever is in the White House.  Josh would make a great professor.

And a great father too, she thinks, seeing how he interacts with the kids.

 

* * *

 

**“That was real pretty, Captain. What you just said.”**

_Kaylee ‘Firefly’_

~*~

Donna re-read the letter she had found on Josh’s pillow when she woke up, tears in her eyes.  Happy tears mind you, but still tears. Apparently Josh had woken up while she was still asleep and decided to write everything down about how he felt for her and where he wanted things to go, because he could never figure out how to say it out loud.

The letter was...perfect. She hopped he didn’t expect it back, because she was planning on keeping it and re-reading it for years to come.  Maybe show some of it to their kids when they are older.

When it came to expressing himself in regards to emotions, Josh had always been a better writer then speaker.  Well, most emotions.  Annoyance, joy and anger seemed to filter through him just fine when he spoke.  But stuff like explaining how he felt for someone was never his strong suit.  She still remembered everything he wrote in that book on alpine skiing.  And that was when they had only known each other for a few years.

This letter...this letter was more than that.  For one, he came out and told her he loved her, had loved her for awhile.  Told her how proud he had been of her the last couple of months despite being hurt that she wanted to get so far away from him that she choose to work for Bingo Bob of all people.

She looked up as she heard him walk into the room, his hair still wet from the shower he had been taking while she read the letter. He looked nervous, as if expecting her to reject him.

“Oh, you.”  She said getting up and walking over to him and grabbing him into a hug.  “I love you too.”  She could almost feel his smile as he responded to the hug, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close, just like he had that christmas eve so many years ago.  But she wasn’t satisfied in just replicating the moment.  She pulled back a little and brought his head down to hers for a kiss.  This was something they didn’t... couldn’t... do seven years ago.

“I take it you liked my letter?”  He said as they finally parted.

“I think you could say that,” she joked, kissing him again.

“There was one part of the letter that requires an answer, you know.”

“You can’t infer?”

“I’d prefer not to.”  He responded, nervousness showing in his voice.  She looked at him frowning.

“I thought it was obvious I was going to say yes.”

“Really?”

“No, Josh, I’m just playing with you...of course I mean Really.”  She rolled her eyes then kissed him softly.  “To be absolutely clear:  I, Donnatella Moss, have agreed to marry you”  His grin returned.  “Do you know what you are getting into?”  She joked.

“The best decision of my life,” he said in all seriousness, which made the tears come back. God, She loved this man.

 

_Note:  This drabble has been incorporated into a longer fic_

 

* * *

 

  
  


**"There's going to be more people talking about people I've never heard of who are apparently both billionaires and brain dead."**

_David Mitchell 'Mock The Week'_

~*~

“I hate fundraisers,”  Josh mumbled trying to get tie tied.  “I end up stuck with the couple who on one hand could probably give us the most money to help our campaign, and we need it, but on the other hand have absolutely no idea what they are talking about but the most willingness to go on and on about it.”

“Oh, poor baby.”  Donna commented sarcastically while walking over and taking over the tie mishandling.  Lou gave them a weird look, before going back to checking that she had all she needed in her bag.  “Ever think it might be because the politicians are woefully horrible at explaining things to the general american public?”

“The General American Public doesn’t care,”  Josh shot back, trying not to focus on the fact that she was standing so close after so long.  “Otherwise we would have less concentration on which celebrity flashed the cameras getting out of the car, and more on the fact that the Education system in this country is crying out for help.”

“Then explain that to them tonight.  Make them want to care.”  She said, looking straight at him.  “Stop assuming they just don’t care, and make them want to care.”  There was silence for a moment as the two kept looking at each other.

“If you two are done doing your little dance, can we get a move on,” Lou commented.  “I’d like to get there before the drinks are all gone.”


	2. February 2014 Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin picks up on things faster then Josh, Matt and Jed gossip about the Moss-Lymans, and Annabeth mourns Leo.

**“I like her, but we’re not suited that way.”  
** _Colin ‘Pobol y Cwm’_

~*~

 

Colin liked Donna, he really did.  And he would have enjoyed a longer term romance with her.  However he always knew that this was not going to be a forever type of situation.  There was a good point that they would never see each other again.

Right now he had another thing to add to the list other than the fact that neither Donna nor he were looking for a big romance and had jobs on different continents.   It was “She has someone in love with her.”  The guy claimed they just worked together and what little information he cobbled together suggested that he was Donna’s boss.  She had written emails to a Josh while they were together.  

He thought they were both idiots if they let work get in the way of love. He couldn’t tell what Donna’s emotions were about the matter, though the looks she gave Josh and calling him in before her surgery had implied that she cared for him too.  But Josh had dropped everything in DC and rushed to her bedside on a red eye flight. Despite fielding calls to the White House, it was clear Josh’s mind was on Donna, not on home.

He hoped these two got it together.  He could see himself being friends with Donna for years to come, and he didn’t think that could happen if Josh kept looking at him like he was the ex-boyfriend.

Of course, he couldn’t blame him, in a way he was.  But he was an outsider standing here watching Donna and Josh look at each other like the only thing holding them up was the strength of the other.

He knew when to bow out gracefully.

 

* * *

**I've tried for seven years. It isn't possible."**   
_Cox 'Scrubs'_

~*~

 

“Can I ask a question sir...something not so much about our current Foreign Policy.”

“Of course.  And call me Jed.  You’ll be President soon enough and learn you'll have to wait awhile to be just Matt again.  And since we are part of the same club I think I can get a reprieve from you,”  Bartlet responded with a grin.

“I’m not as close with my future Chief of Staff as you were with yours.  I’m still learning about him.”

“You want to know about him and Donna?”  Matt nodded.  

“Well, partially.  I understand there were rumors, but all experiences I have had seem that they weren’t close at all.  And I asked her today if Josh was seeing anyone and she seemed surprised anyone would think she knew anything”

“Appearances can be deceiving.  I’ve tried understanding Josh & Donna for the past seven...no, more like 9 years.  I keep forgetting I’ve been here eight years already.” he chuckled.  “I don’t think its easy to say what exactly they are to each other. They have a connection, always had, and it always fluctuated depending on what was going on in their lives but it never faltered. I think you are going to have to ask the man himself on that one.”

Jed looked over at some pictures and picked one up.  It was of Josh and Leo on a couch, the two of them smiling and laughing.  He handed it to Matt.  “You choose a good man to be your Chief of Staff, Matt.  A good man.  And a good friend if you let him.  You should let him.”

Matt looked up at the President and nodded.  “I think I’ll take your advice on that.  When he gets back from his vacation.”

“Vacation?”  Jed’s eyes got wide in mock surprise.  “I didn’t realise he knew the meaning of the word.”

“Yes, well, the man he hired as deputy...Sam Seaborn ...

“Yes, probably one of Josh’s best friend and another capable man for the job.”

“Sam made him take a vacation.  Apparently Josh’s stress levels finally broke through the roof and he blew up on one of the staff writers.  I have to say Sam’s already on my good side for helping me make Josh take it easy.  I’ve tried to do its subtly for the last few weeks, but he’s not an easy man to get to relax.”

 

* * *

 

**“I’m going to spend my entire life missing him.”**   
_Kurt Hummel ‘Glee’_

~*~

  
  


Annabeth walked through the library, smiling as she came across pictures of her friends. She could hear (and see) other dignitaries and statesmen talking around her, asking tour questions as they experienced the Josiah Bartlet Presidential Library for its first public venture.

She already knew the layout, had been working with Josh, Donna, Lou and Elizabeth Peterson, the director of the library to design tonight’s ceremony.  She knew where everything was, could give a tour if she was inclined, but she had something more in mind for her visit.

The Library boasted of a model of the Oval filled with the Presidents personal memorabilia that sat on the shelf.  And Beyond that was a special room dedicated to the memory of Leo Thomas McGarry.  It was not the same size as Leo’s actual office had been...quite larger in fact.  It had documents from his time as Labor Secretary, and his time as Chief of Staff and Special Advisor to the President.  There were even items from his run for Vice President.  In fact, the door labeled him as Vice President, though he had never lived to swear the oath.

She supposed some would be angry at that, say he hadn’t really been Vice President.  But for those who knew Leo, including the President whose name the LIbrary bore, he was Santo’s Vice President.

She walked over to a large picture that hung on the wall across from the entrance.  It was of Leo, taken a couple of years before his death.  He was in a chair, lap covered with briefing memos but he was looking off camera and smiling.  Actually he looked like he was laughing.  She could see Josh in the background, flipping through some papers, a big smile on his face as he listened into whatever Leo was.  She assumed the President was off scene, telling some trivia that Josh and Leo found humorous.

Oh, how she missed him. Their relationship had been short, but it had left an impact on her. She had loved him.  Very few people even knew about it.  His daughter Mallory, the president and his wife, and the Moss-Lymans were probably the extent.  She wish he was here now, attending the opening.  Laughing with Jed Bartlet over memories of his presidency, discussing with Santos a new bill in the house.  But most importantly, standing beside her, holding her hand.

She reached up and placed a hand on the glass, as if she was trying to touch him.  It made for a poor facsimile.

  



	3. February 2014 Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh deals with the Roommate's judgmental cats, Donna deals with Josh's blow up on Election Day, and Sam makes fun of Toby.

**“You were drunk when you came into my room.”**   
_Samson ‘The Deep’_

~*~

“You have cats.” Donna rolled her eyes as she closed her door. Today had been a long and not so good day, and she had really been looking forward to having a bubblebath. However, here it was 10:30 at night, an earlier night then some, and her boss was drunk and at her doorstep.

“No, my roommate does.”

“They are judging me.”

“They are cats, Josh. They judge everyone and find them wanting.”

“I wish they would stop staring at me.” It was kind of funny that drunk!Josh wasn’t any less clear in his words, though he tended to use shorter onds and get distracted easily. She smiled as she gathered a pillow and some blankets while recalled previous times he had arrived at her house after abusing his system. He’d end up falling asleep on the couch, but not before he would say a bunch of things that he probably wouldn’t tell her if he had been sober. Nothing of note, really. Just stuff about how he loved her hair, it was so silky. And how he kissed Sam once while drunk but decided that was poor decision because neither of them had enjoyed it much.

She was keeping that one for amusing anecdotes one day when she wrote her memoirs of her days in the Bartlett White House.

“Alright, Josh, bedtime.” She led him to the couch, where she had dropped the pillow and as she got him out of his coat and shoes, she had him lay down on the couch. She covered him with an old quilt of her grandmothers that Josh seemed to favor on his nights over.

“Love you.” He mumbled as he got comfortable.

“Love you too,” she responded with a smile. She knew he didn’t mean it as some might interpret it, that he meant she was a close friend and he loved her. Her roommate thought otherwise, but Donna didn’t think Lily was right.

* * *

 

 **“It matters because I need you doing what you’re doing now.”**   
_Leo ‘The West Wing'_

~*~

Everyone was silent as Josh walked out of the room. No one had expected that outburst, not even Lou and Donna, one of which had a habit of bringing outbursts and the other who had known him for long enough to detect when one was coming.

“I’ll...I’ll go check on him,” Donna stated to the silent room and followed Josh outside.

She checked him over as she talked to him, letting him calm himself down. His body was tense, and he looked like he was about to jump out of his body. But he also seemed calmer when she was around. She wasn’t sure if it was familiarity, or maybe the new angles their relationship had taken that morning, but she knew that he found her a comforting presence today.

“C’mon, lets go back inside.”

“I think I need to stay out here a little longer,” he admitted.

“Its too cold to stay out here, Josh,” she said resting a hand on his arm. “I think everyone understands you are a little tense today.”

“I...Leo would never have yelled like that.”

“Sure he would. I remember him doing some yelling during our time at the White House. At you in fact. Although, to be fair, you usually deserved it.”

“Hey!” He said in mock offense. She could see the teasing had relaxed him a little further. He wasn’t going to fall of the cliff again, not for awhile. She was just afraid she wouldn’t be there when he did.

“Josh, ever think about taking a vacation?”

“A what?”

“A Vacation...You know, a few days where you do nothing related to work, usually spent in a warm climate.”

“Ah, those.” He wrapped an arm around her and they started to walk towards the door. “I don’t think they and I run in the same circles.”

“You should think about it. You’ve worked so hard on this campaign, you’re driving yourself crazy.” He murmured acknowledgement of what she was saying. She sighed and tightened her hold on him as they walked together. She knew he wouldn’t consider a vacation, not now. If Santos won, he’d be overseeing transition. If they lost, he’d spend the next couple of weeks wondering where he went wrong.

So she’d just do what she was doing now. Spot the signs of a meltdown, and step in and make sure he got away from it all for a few minutes.

 

* * *

 

 **“If you think I’m doing this without back-up, you’re nuts.”**   
_David Rossi ‘Criminal Minds’_

~*~

  
“Sam, We are going over to Josh’s. I need to talk to him.”

“Alright, and while I don’t mind visiting Josh I am forced to ask...why am I going?”

“Because if it is both of us, Donna might consider it socialization.”

“You are afraid of Donna?”

“I have a healthy regard for her, yes. I wouldn’t go as far as to call it fear.”

“No, you are afraid of Donna’s wrath if you break the rules.”

“You are afraid. I simply want to see Josh. And should you be able to distract her while I discuss the thing with him, all the better.”

“Donna is not going to allow you to talk business, Toby.” Sam shook his head. “However, as the good friend I am, I shall go and watch as you fail spectacularly in getting around the rules."


	4. February 2014 Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna mourns the breaking apart of the core group, CJ and Donna discuss secrets, and Jed spends a few last minutes in the West Wing

**“This job, it’s twenty-five hours a day, eight days a week. I didn’t realize the toll it was taking on us.”**  
 _Tom Mason ‘Falling Skies'_

~*~

 

Donna wondered, as she sat across from Will at some late night diner in New Hampshire, if the Bartlet’s Team was falling apart.  CJ was micromanaging the White House to prevent the president from having another attack.  Toby was struggling to run the communications department by himself.  Sam was back in private practice in New York.  Will was working for the Vice President.  Kate Harper was too new to be called part of the Team.  She herself had left for the Vice President’s team.

And Josh had left too. It had surprised her.  She had expected arguments, had expected him to get over it eventually and just try to prove he didn’t need her anyway.  Instead there was silence, and she had learned from campaign team gossip that Josh Lyman had left his office and was working as a campaign manager for Matt Santos, a little known congressman from Texas.

She was a bit pissed at Will for making her first run into Josh happen in his office. Bringing her into the office simply to unnerve Josh.  It was a smart move, but at the same time she hated feeling used.

She still had dinner with him because who else was she going to have dinner with.  Everyone else on the team was at least a decade or two younger then them.  But she let the silence linger while they ate because she wasn’t quite forgiving him yet.

Will couldn’t understand what it felt like, how losing something you never realized you had could hurt like this.  It took a toll on you if you let it.  

She took a deep breath and sipped her coffee, glancing up briefly when the door bell jingled to see Matt Santos and Josh enter into the hall.  She resisted the urge to call out or wave, anything that would bring her to Josh’s attention. It would be ignored anyway.  He wasn’t willing to forgive her yet for how she left, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to forgive him for putting her off at the end.

But she did take the time to take him in, this time assessing how he was.  How the toll of the last few weeks had taken on him.  He looked tired, and a little annoyed.  Santos on the other hand looked like he was having fun and was amused at something Josh stated.

She wondered for half a second if Josh was taking his medications before internally smacking herself.  It wasn’t her job anymore to worry about Josh’s meds or if he was getting enough rest or actually eating more than a half burnt burger every other day.

They fell apart, and she didn’t have the strength in her just yet to pick up the pieces.

* * *

 

 

“ **Remember the good old days when it used to be impossible to keep a secret on a ship this small.”**  
 _Tom Paris ‘Voyager’_

~*~

 

“Do you remember the last time you didn’t have to keep a secret?”  CJ wondered out loud.  She and Donna were sitting on the floor of her living room, their backs against the couch with the coffee table full of junk food.  It was the closest thing to a girls night either of them had had in ages.

“It does seem like we have to keep a lot of them.”  Donna was fine with that.  She could keep secrets, but it did get tiring after awhile to keep them from her friends, her family.  Not secrets that had to do with top secret missions and the like, but secrets like she seemed to be keeping lately were not national security.

“I’ll have to admit, the one positive of being the guys going out is that the secret keeping will stop.”

“Not really.”

“No, I guess not.”

“Although, since we are on secrets, I guess I should tell you that Josh and I are....in something.”  CJ snorted as she tried to repress her laugh.

“In something?”

“Yes, its a yet to be defined something.”

“Don’t get offended, Donna, but the two of you have been “In Something” since 1999. Why is it everyone knows how you two feel about each other except you two?”

“Quite a different opinion from the lockout.”

“Yeah, well, I was working on denial myself that night.  Garbage information. I should have apologized.”

“No, it was good advice.”

“Career wise, yes. Relationship with Josh wise- I should have stayed out of it.”

“At the time I couldn’t see the difference.”

“And now?”

“And now I can, but I’m afraid he can’t.”

“I think he can.  But this is Josh we are talking about, so you might have to translate.”  CJ paused.  “Danny wanted me to come over tonight. I kind of used you as a convenient excuse not to go.”

“Why?”

“I’m a bit afraid of how fast this is going.”

“Fast? CJ, you and Danny have been at it for almost as long as Josh and I, and an a lot less denial then we were in.  I think its more catch up then anything.”

“Really?  You don’t think I’m jumping into this too fast?”

“No.  You waited 8 years, CJ. I can’t tell you it will or won’t work out, but I don’t think you are rushing this.  But you might want to talk to him like you are talking to me.  I think we both need to talk to our guys.”

“And stop keeping it a secret?”

“And stop keeping it a secret.”

 

* * *

 

 **“I'm not even sure why it matters to me so much- how things end here."**  
 _JD 'Scrubs'  
_ ~*~

 

Jed Bartlet looked around the room, taking in what had been his life these past eight years.  This room had seen quite a bit.  Faithful vigils, angry tirades, family jokes.  So many things.  It seemed unreal that it was coming to an end.

But an end was coming. The law said you only got two terms, even if you still felt like you had more left to do.  But that was on Santo’s shoulders now, and if the man wanted, Josh’s.  A good set of shoulders to share the burden, just like he had Leo’s, and then CJ’s shoulders to share his

Santos had a good team.  And he’d be a good person to hand over the country, but that didn’t mean Jed didn’t feel like he hadn’t had enough time.

“Jed?”  He turned to see Abbey in the doorway, her winter coat on, ready to procede to the inauguration.  “You ready?”

“Not sure I’d ever be ready, but I suppose its time regardless.”

“Its in good hands.”

“I hope so.”  And with that, he turned and took his wife’s hands and took his last walk through the White House.


	5. February 2014...still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna is tired and afraid Bob Russell is not what she wants, The Story on how Josh & Sam met, and Sam realizing his friend was about a hair away from breaking down.

**“She’s something ain’t she? I tell you, no matter how big she gets she’s still as common as ever.”**

_Mama ‘Chicago_ ’

~*~

Donna sat on the bus and closed her eyes.  She felt so tired, and she had a feeling this sense of tired had little to do with her physical activity and more to do with what she was doing.  She was tired of dealing with Will & Bob Russell’s drive to win.  Will she could sometimes stand, because she knew ordinarily Will was a great guy, and he was only doing this because he felt that Russell was the best option against Vinnick in the Fall.

But even Will had to admit that Russell was....less than they would have liked.  He wasn’t the real thing, no where close to what Bartlet had been.  He wasn’t funny, though they laughed at his jokes.  He was simply in the right spot at the right time.  

But no matter how hard she ignored it, Josh’s opinion of “Bingo” Bob Russell stuck in her head.  And phantoms of Toby and CJ’s commentary on him.  Not even Will had thought much of him when he became Vice President.

Why was she working for him?  Oh, that’s right.  She needed to get out there, show her abilities where Josh wasn’t involved. SHe just wished Bob Russell had something of the thing that Bartlet had had.

Something that made her drive across the country and hire herself to work on the campaign.  

 

* * *

 

**"That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell the crazy on him."**

_Bruce Banner, 'Avengers'_

~*~

Josh wasn’t at all sure what he was doing at the East Coast Star Trek Convention.  Well, that was incorrect.  He was doing a favor for Annie, a really pretty journalism major who was somewhere around here interviewing people for the Yale paper. Apparently a lot of college kids were expected at this one.

He honestly didn’t get the allure.  He hadn’t seen the show except for bits and pieces.  He might have watched an episode as a baby, but he couldn’t remember any of it.  He was getting the better end of the deal he thought, he go as her travel ‘assistant’ and she’d tutor him in his one communications class. He did need the tutoring but he liked Annie too, and this seemed like a good way to get to know her.

But considering she had basically left him to his own devices as soon as they entered the hotel lobby, he wasn’t sure why she had needed him at all?  To tell her parents she wasn’t in a strange city all alone?  He was pretty sure telling them she was going with a guy she hardly knew wasn’t going to be that much better.

Josh lurched forward as someone stumbled into him from behind.  Turning around to see what hit him, he found a dark haired kid in red looking embarrassed.

“Sorry about that, I shouldn’t have been walking backwards and watched where I was going.”

“No problem.”

“You aren’t here for the convention are you?”

“No, how could you tell?”

“You are looking at everyone like they are nuts.  We aren’t you know.  We are just enthusastic.”

“My enthusiasm for things doesn’t seem to extend to dressing up.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” the guy said with a smile. “Sometimes its good to let yourself go and relax once and awhile.”  He held out his hand.  “Sam Seaborn.”

“Josh Lyman.”

“From Yale?”

“Ah...yes?”

“I just read your essay on Political strategy in Reagan's presidency. My professor wants me to write a rebuttal to show Princeton is better than Yale.”

“He disagrees?”

“Nope.  Just a bit of school pride.”

“I’ll be interested in seeing what you write.”

* * *

 

**"When you can't run anymore you crawl, and when you can't do that you find someone to carry you."**

_Tracey 'Firefly'_

~*~

It wasn’t Josh’s offer to be Deputy Chief of Staff that got Sam to got to DC.  Nor was it the invite to do the inaugural address with Otto and the others.  Although they were both good and its why he stayed in DC, what made up his mind about going in the first place was the fact that Josh looked like he was about about one straw from breaking the camel’s back.

He looked exhausted, yet was still going at full power.  He forgot about a conversation they had a few days before about Sam’s engagement, and Josh was usually good at filing away details even while distracted so it was unusual for him to forget.

His argument was full of holes and he wasn’t putting his full body into it like he usually did.  

Sam knew Josh long enough that he was about to spiral out of control if someone didn’t step up and hold him up.  So he hopped on a plane and arrived just in time to see Josh scream at Otto.

Forcing Josh on a vacation didn’t even seem like something he should think through.  Josh’s health, both physical and mental, were at stake and Sam could handle being a little overwhelmed  He wasn’t sure Josh could take much more stress.

Hearing Donna went with him was a relief also. Donna was as good if not better at knowing Josh.  Between the two of them they could bring Josh back to his normal levels of stress and keep him from breaking.  Sam would never tell Josh how worried he had been.

He was just glad that Josh wasn’t so far gone he couldn’t tell he needed to take his friend’s advice.


	6. February 2014 Part Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh has second thoughts about being COS, A missing scene from "In the Shadow of Two Gunman Part One", and while he recovers from the shooting he realizes he likes Donna living with him a little too much. Donna contemplates what Josh meant in "The Ticket."

**“There was a time in my life when I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But, um, I lost everything once and I’m just not going to let that happen again.”**

_Jack Griffith ‘Cedar Cove’_

~*~

 

“I actually hesitated when accepting the Chief of Staff position.”  Josh admitted, playing with the label of his beer bottle..  Sam raised an eyebrow before taking a drink of his own. “I did. After everything that had happened in the past year, I wasn’t sure I wanted the job.”

“What made you decide to take it”

“The idea of Berry Goodwin or someone like him having the job.”

“What made you second guess?”

“Donna, losing what we had.  We hadn’t figured out what was going on, and Donna was being distant about it, and neither of us were sure what the other one wanted out of this whole situation and I thought, for a moment, maybe if I passed by the COS job, I’d be able to concentrate on the two of us.  To put us first.”  Josh paused.  “Leo hadn’t been able to keep his marriage going when he was COS.”

“That’s because Leo and Jenny aren’t you and Donna.  Donna’s going to be working the same hours, she’ll know exactly what is going on.  And the two of you communicate better than Leo and Jenny ever did.”

“I’m not sure about that, but I think I have to try.”

“Well, tomorrow he gets sworn in, so its your last chance to talk yourself out of it.”

“No, I’m going to take the job.  Given too much of myself to not see through.  I just...don’t want to let Donna OR Leo down.”

“Josh...”  Sam said, putting down his drink and looking directly at Josh.  “Leo isn’t going to be let down, he was proud of what you accomplished and you accomplished it without the support network he had.  IF he were here he’d say so himself.  Grouchily of course, but he would tell you the same thing I just did.  As for Donna, she’s not Jenny McGarry.  If she has a problem with the way things are going, she’ll let you know. She won’t let it build up till you blow up.

“She did before.”

“And yet, a year later you two are married. Jenny and Leo didn’t even try.”  He leaned back and retook his bottle.  “Besides, if you turn down the job, then I’ll have to be COS.”

“That’s a scary thought,”  Josh responded with a grin.

* * *

 

**“Please don’t leave me alone.”**

_Johnny Cash “Walk the Line_

_~*~_

 

Josh wasn’t sure what was going on. He could barely hear anything going on around him.  All he could focus on was the fact that it was hard to breath, and his hands were covered in some warm liquid that if he hadn’t been in shock he’d figure out was blood. He thought he could hear his name but couldn’t get himself to move much or respond.

He looked up when he noticed shoes in his view and saw Toby looking at him with a look he rarely saw on Toby’s face.  Alarm, terror, he wasn’t sure what to call it but it suddenly made him realise that something was really wrong.  If Toby was visibly reacting to it something was really  really wrong.

He tried to say something but all he managed to do was fall onto his side, the rough pavement the least of his concerns.  He could hear Toby yelling for a doctor, hear Sam calling his name, and he could feel CJ’s touch as she sat on the steps and touched his forehead as the other two tried to stop the bleeding while they waited for the paramedics to arrive.

In the back of his head he kept wondering where was Donna?  Was she hurt, why wasn’t she there?  Whenever he needed her, she had been there, so why wasn’t she there. He needed her to tell him everything was going to be alright, that Toby, Sam and CJ were overreacting.

Suddenly a team of strangers were upon them, pushing his friends out of the way as they began to cut through his clothes to get to the wound. He could hear them asking the others questions as they quickly assessed the damage and put him on the stretcher to be taken to the hospital.

Joshua Lyman, 36.  No allergies that they knew of, but with a sensitivity to anything in his system. No history of heart problems.  No, he wasn’t on any drugs at the moment.

“Toby” he managed to mutter as they all tried to climb in the ambulance with him.  Toby got dibs while the rest of them went to pile into a car to be follow behind.

“Yeah, Josh?”  Toby said, leaning over him so that Josh could see him.

“Donna?”

“Donna’s fine,she went home remember.  You let her go home early.”  Toby squeezed his shoulder, the only part of him that didn’t seem to have blood, tubes or something else attached. “She’ll be here soon.  None of us are going anywhere.”

* * *

**"We’re out here because if I go home and go to sleep, the only thing I’m going to be able to think about is that I gotta get up tomorrow morning and go back to that place.”**

_Cox ‘Scrubs’_

~*~

Josh slowly turned himself onto his side. Everything ached, despite the painkillers,but he had finally reached a point where laying on his side didn’t make everything feel like he had been shot again.

He could hear Donna moving around the apartment trying to be quiet.  She assumed he was sleeping, as he was supposed to be.  But he hadn’t been sleeping well since they reduced the serious painkillers that used to make him fall asleep all the time. He knew how lucky he was to have her.  His mother had left after a week, but Donna had been staying the last month and a half helping him around and getting things back to normal.  Well, as much as they can after you have been shot.

She should go home, but he couldn’t  bring himself to tell her that. It felt good having her around.  He didn’t usually like to share his space...it was one of the reasons he and Mandy had broken up...but it didn’t seem so bad when it was Donna.  Perhaps it was knowing she was there made him feel safer.  

“Josh?”  He looked over at the door to see her leaning in the doorway, giving him a look that told him that she knew he was awake.

“Yeah?”

“You should be sleeping.”

“I know.”  He couldn’t bring himself to tell her about the nightmares.  She had enough on her plate what with keeping the office running smoothly without him here (and wasn’t that a kick to the ego) and dealing with his recovery.  She didn’t need to know that without the drugs that made him sleepy he ended up having nightmares about that night at Rosslyn

He couldn’t tell her that he dreamt of it happening to someone else, to her, to Sam.  Once it was what would have happened if Charlie had been hit.  He didn’t remember much of being hit himself, but he could remember what was going with everyone else.  Seeing everyone hit the ground trying to protect themselves from the bullets.

His least favorite was the one where she hadn’t left early and ended up being hit instead of him.  That one brought emotions he really wasn’t in any shape to figure out.

“Want some hot chocolate, that might help.”

“Sure.”  He smiled in her direction, getting a smile in return before she left to make him some homemade hot chocolate.

There was one dream he had that wasn’t a nightmare, and that was one where Donna actually lived there, that this wasn’t a temporary thing.  That there had been no bullets, no physical therapy or cardiologist appointments.  Just he and her continuing their dynamic at home rather than the office.  

He liked that more than he wanted to admit.

* * *

 

**“Sometimes it’s hard, being alone. But I always felt I could depend on you.”**

_Kerry ‘ER_

~*~

_and if you don’t think I missed you every day._

And what exactly was that supposed to mean?  Donna slammed her apartment door closed and flopped down on the couch.  He missed his assistant?  He missed his friend?  

Granted, she couldn’t blame him for how awkward things were between them, at least not completely.  She was the one who choose to leave angry and stay angry.  Even when she had longed to just walk across the hallway and hug him, to just feel his arms around her for a few minutes, she had stayed away.

She didn’t know why she thought she could have gotten the job.  She had left working for Josh because she wanted out of his shadow, wanted people to recognize her as someone other than “And Josh”.

She had gotten the recognition from everyone except one of the people that mattered most to her, and that was Josh.  If there was anything good to be taken from the heart wrenching ten seconds is that Josh had thought enough to collect her sound bites.  That he thought her good enough to warrant a folder.

Still, those last words kept repeating themselves.  They didn’t sound like someone missing his assistant, or even a college.  THere had been pleading in that statement and she just didn’t know what to make out of it.

She used to be able to figure out all his tones and facial expressions, but the last several months had removed that ability.  And she thought that might be what hurt the most about that moment.

She truly had broken free from Josh professionally.  They probably wouldn’t work together like they did ever again.  But she hadn’t broken away cleaning from Josh on the personal level and the jagged edges of their relationship left her feeling alone and hurt just because he admitted that he felt the same way.


	7. February 18th  '13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Leo's funeral, Abbey looks over the family.

_“That’s what’s important, isn’t it. He was wrong and you were right, and while you were arguing about it the little girl died.”_

**Abby "E.R. - The Human Shield”**

* * *

 

 

Abbey looked around the room and smiled. Her family, though not all by blood, filled the room. It was filled with laughter as much as the tears. Old arguments forgotten as they remembered Leo.

 

Too many arguments had caused this family pain and separation lately. Some wounds still festered but they were healing and coming back together slowly.

 

Oh Leo, she thought. This is more you. Not the fancy memorials or the mostly heartfelt speeches and interviews. This. His kids around the room, sharing their memories of him.

 

There was his son by choice, Josh. So much like him. She could see the weight on his shoulders, the stress and exhaustion. Hopefully he would learn what Leo learned too late - how to balance life.

 

There was C.J., his heir to the role of Bartlet's First Knight. Abbey was so proud of her, and hoped she'd found happiness that seemed to elude her these last few months.

 

Annabeth was new to the Bartlet-McGarry clan, but felt like she had always been. Perhaps because she was one of the reasons Leo was always smiling in his last months.

 

Charlie was the baby of the family, now grown into a man they were all proud to know. She remembered when he first came and was shy and reluctant to say things. Jed and Leo soon dissuaded him of that notion.

 

Donna watched over the rest, always absorbing what she could. She was probably Jed's favorite, being as interested in trivia as he was. She was the carer of the family, and she seemed to be falling into the role again as she handed Annabeth a tissue and a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 

Jed was always annoyed that Josh and Donna could never see what the rest of them saw. However, she had seen the looks the two gave each other through the night and felt that if Leo were here, he would have just won the trio’s pool on when the two would finally figure it out. Abbey had after they left office, Jed had thought the second inaugural. Leo had changed his bet recently and Abbey had suspicions that Leo had insider information.

  
  


The absence of the other two boys, or rather men she should say, was still felt in the undercurrents. Toby’s betrayal was still not quite understood by anyone, although Abbey had faith that in the end it would come full circle and Toby would once again be apart of their number. Sam had a court appearance and couldn’t make it for the funeral, and had sounded quite upset about it.

 

She wished she could hear Leo’s laugh booming through the room. See him smiling with the family as they remembered.

 

One day their family would all be back together, even the step-step children Will Bailey and Kate Harper. But she doubted it would take away the fact that Leo wouldn’t be there.

  
  



	8. March 20 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CJ makes her Matron of Honor Speech.

_“Here's to the best friend I've ever had, could ever hope to have, a girl for whom no man will ever be good enough, I hope you know that... I love you and I wish for you nothing but a lifetime of happiness.”_

**Marshall Mann ‘In Plain Sight’**

* * *

 

CJ stood up, and brought everyone’s attention to her.

“As Donna eloped, she had no maid of honor, so I have taken it upon myself to fill the role and propose a toast to our favorite couple.”  Donna looked surprised and happy, Josh looked like he was wondering what she was about to say.  “Now it is tradition for the maid of honor and best man to tell stories of their respective person. Well, I am in the great position to be able to tell a story of both of them.

When I first met Donna, she was a volunteer with a hope of an occupation.in the campaign. She was a bright eager young woman who somehow turned Josh’s desk into something that actually resembled a desk, and ran Josh’s life better than he did.

But she left to go home for awhile. And Josh lost it. Its like he couldn’t return to his pre-Donna self.  It was actually quite humorous to watch.  Sam and I had bets on how long it would take before Josh broke down and begged her to come back, but she did it on her own a month later and it was Josh’s face when she walked into that room that told me I would one day be doing this.

Of course over the years the confidence in that knowledge grew and waned.  Josh and Donna were good at being in denial, and sometimes they barely managed to convince us of it.  

But today its that moment when Josh noticed her standing there, across the room and the two of them stood staring at each other that stands in my mind.  I don’t think any one of us thought Josh and Donna as separate after that.

So I would like to thank Josh and Donna for finally seeing what the rest of us saw that day, that they had a connection.”

 

 


	9. April 3 2013 - I love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna thinks things are Awkward, and Josh thinks things are pretty obvious.

_When I say, I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try.  
_ _I've seen your kindness and your strength._ _I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are."_

**Spike ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’**

* * *

 

“I don’t understand,” Josh stated, frowning as he set up in the bed.  It was day three of their vacation.  Days one and two had been spent in various states of sleep, relaxation and continuing exploring the newest elements of their relationships.  He had been expecting Donna’s desire to talk, but he really couldn’t understand her claim.

“I want to know what you see this relationship as being,”  Donna responded.  “I know its awkward talking about this...”

“Not as awkward as you are making it.”

“But we need to talk about where we see this going.” Donna may have ignored his interruption, but the look on her face told him she hadn’t missed it.

“I honestly thought it was self apparent,” he said with a sigh.  “I’ve been in love with you for nine years.  I’ve openly admitted it to myself for the last year.  I want everything, Donna.  I want....I want what the Bartlets have.”

“9 years?  Seriously, Josh.”

“Yes, 9 years.  The first moment I knew I was in love with you was the day you came back from Wisconsin looking like you were trying to hide behind those crutches of yours.  I was so relieved you were back.  But I suppressed it, knowing I needed you more as a friend.  He adjusted on the bed so he was fully facing her.  “I knew it, but I kept telling myself it was something else.  You were, and still are, my best friend.  You help me sort myself out.  I work better as me with you there. I think at times I was so obvious you were the only one who didn’t notice.”

“You never said anything.”

“What would I have said?  Nothing could have happened with the way things were, and I was too much in denial. Ask Sam, Ask Danny.  They could probably tell you stories.  The moment I realized that there was no more denying that I was fully in love with you was the moment you woke up in Germany.  I even was going to tell you, but then Colin and misdirection happened and then...”

“I left.”

“Yeah.  My point is, Donna, so far in this relationship you’ve been calling it awkward, and confusing and honestly I agree there are moments when it is.  But one thing that is perfectly clear in my mind is that I love you, and I want this, whatever it is you want to give.”

“You realize that is the first time you actually said it?

“Well, there you have it.  I love you.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little ficlet may have been expanded in one of my much longer fics.


	10. April 12 2013 - I love him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I was on a theme in April 2013. Donna is still on about the Awkward.

_“I'm still in love with him. I am. I've been in love with him since I was 23 years old. He's everything to me._   
_He's my life. I feel complete when I'm with him and I feel empty when we're apart.”_

**Carol ‘ER’**

 

* * *

 

It turns out that acknowledging you are in love with someone after 9 years wasn’t quite as awkward as she had imagined it was going to be.  Sure, like any relationship, it had its moments.  But Donna realised during their week vacation in Hawaii that many of the awkward parts of a relationship they had already gone through.

She was used to his living patterns, even despite the year apart.  There wasn’t that many changes.  They got into a new routine than before, since they were now lovers, instead of two people who were trying to deny that they were even considering the idea. Some of it not all that different than when they were on the road during Bartlet’s campaigns and travels.

Of course, some of the habits came more after the vacation, because Sam had barred Josh from working, and to prevent getting around that, he had gotten Helen and Matt Santos involved.  Helen had told her to leave work in DC, and that they would get things in place when she got back.  After all, Annabeth and Sam were there and if there was a problem that only Donna and Josh could fix, they could call the Hotel.  But only in emergencies.

She got him coffee now.  It seemed like the thing to do, to symbolize the change in their relationship. She woke up first, liking to take runs in the early morning, and he liked his extra sleep so she was the one who turned the coffee maker on.  Which was probably good because Josh’s skills with coffee makers was...lacking in some respects.

But she liked how it felt this time.  There were no barriers, there was no denial or resistance.  They were just Josh and Donna for the first time in nearly a decade.  Two people who had fallen in love with each other at probably the inopportune time but nevertheless managed to make it.

She felt...complete.  No, that wasn’t it.  She was complete as herself, a whole person, but being with Josh felt like one more piece of the puzzle that made up her was in place.  The whole year they had been apart she had been a tad bit miserable.  She had loved her work, had excelled, but not being able to share that joy with Josh had dulled the buzz somewhat.  While she was proud of herself and didn’t need someone else’s praise, hearing Josh tell her she did well had added a bit more.

He seemed to feel the same, calmer, less stressed, less likely to take out unsuspecting White House Writers. She had seen Josh blow up before, but the frequency of the campaign had been something else.  But her being there seemed to help, which she liked.  She liked knowing she affected him.

 


	11. May 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much Josh/Donna fluff and angst abounds.

**“It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times,**

**but I could not stop loving her anymore than I could stop breathing.**

**I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.”**

_Barney Stinson ‘How I Met Your Mother’_

 

* * *

(5/9)

 

“I’m in love with Donna.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You know? How can you know? I didn’t know.”

 

“Because you don’t have a good poker face when it comes to Donna.  Or at all really.”

 

“What...I have a great poker face.”

 

“Only when you are in the room with a republican.  Those of us who know you...not so much.”

 

“You knew?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“How long?”

 

“Since about four days after you met her. I tried to ask her out and you looked like you were going to defenestrate me.”

 

“I didn’t love her then.”

 

“I’m not sure about that.  You were pretty crazy about her from the get-go.”

 

“I suppose.  I feel like an idiot.”

 

“Well, to be fair, in this case you were.  I would have thought after the second inaugural you would have made a move.  Especially after Danny and Will told me about your little snowball adventure.  What made you finally clue in?”

 

“I kissed Donna.”

 

“You...It took you kissing her to realise you were in love with her.”

 

“Yeah, well, we already covered the idiot part.”

 

“Please tell me you told her all this.”

 

“Not exactly.  I apologised and said it was inappropriate.”

 

“No wonder it took you eight years.”

 

“Nine actually...which doesn’t help matters.  But this is a delicate situation. I’m not actually sure she cares one way or another what happens.”

 

“You are still an idiot.”

  
  


* * *

 

(5/23)

 

**_“The future is scary, but you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar.”_ **

_Robin Scherbatsky ‘How I Met Your Mother’_

 

* * *

 

 

There were moments when Donna ached to have what they used to have back.  To see him grin at her and ask her to bring him all the muffins in the land.  To be bantering in the halls as they traveled around the West Wing.

 

On the other hand, there were moments she knew for certain she had done the right thing.  They were in a stalemate, a stagnant position.  Both professionally and personally.  Things had changed in Gaza.  Professionally, CJ had made Donna see that she was being too personal about her career.  She wasn’t moving anywhere.  It was her own fault, though she had been so angry after Gaza that it was easier to just blame him.  But what was he supposed to do?  Hand over his own job?

 

He could have met with her though, could have helped her find a way to change things, to improve herself professionally.  But he had hid, because just like her he found the line between their professional and personal relationships blurred and smudged.

 

Personally, she had realised something had to change when she realised that Josh had  flown from DC to Germany  and to her bedside when the President probably could have used him. And no one had thought a thing about it.  Josh and Donna had become as bad as Ed and Larry.  They were connected in everyone’s mind.  So Josh leaving everything because Donna was in a hospital seemed normal to everyone.  But not to her. A Boss sends flowers,  a best friend might call every day and visit when things got taken care of at home.  The fact that he had taken care of things for her mother had not been a surprise.  Friends could do that for one another.

 

But red-eying it to Germany  and staying through two surgeries even when he saw her with another man was not normal for them.  Josh had changed the status quo by his actions and they had both been a bit unsteady about what that meant.  Josh hid in his work.  Donna got angry.

 

And it had blown up on them.

 

But there were times, like now, as she looked out the porthole in her room and watched him go back to his room, that she wishes they had what the lost back.

  
She missed him.  She missed them.  But there was no going back.  She could only hope they found each other in the future.


	12. June 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its time for the June Edition of West Wing Drabbles. We have some Angst for both the Jed/Abbey fans and the Josh/Donna fans.

(6/16)

**"I think, in her heart, she forgave me for what happened to our kid. She just... couldn't forget."** _  
Jack O'Neill ‘Stargate SG:1’_

* * *

 

Jed missed his wife. Ever since Zoey came home, no scratch that. Ever since she found out about the chance that the assassination of a terrorist had something to do with their daughter being kidnapped she had been gone.  Sure, her body was present.  But the woman he loved wasn’t there.  She didn’t speak to him, barely acknowledged his presence.  She blamed him for what happened to Zoey, even though the daughter herself had not.

It had been months since they had gone up to Manchester to rest and heal and he missed his wife.  He missed her physical presence.  He missed the warm of her body beside his as he slept.  He missed her arguing over policy with him (when he could inform her).  He missed her commentary on things going on in the West Wing.

He just missed her.

It was funny how devoid his life seemed without her there.  Sure he could function alone, sure he was doing a good job...well, an okay job as President these last few months.  But he could feel something missing, and he was sure that his senior staff could tell too.

He could survive without his wife, he just didn’t want to.

So while the fact that she actually came surprised him, the fact that Leo had called in her in to get things moving again did not. It wasn’t that he needed her opinion to make one, but hearing her side of the measure helped him either make a decision or firm up his belief in one side or another

But he could tell there was still lingering accusation in her eyes.

 

* * *

 

(6/21)

**“There are some feelings that refuse to go away.  
** **They’re little distractions, whispering in your ear. Some things just get under your skin”**

_Meredith Grey ‘Grey’s Anatomy’_

* * *

 

Donna hated how much of her was still wrapped up in Josh.  Enough that being two feet away from him in a twenty second elevator ride left her with butterflies and knots.  Two months since she had left, and he still affected her.  Maybe even more so.

It was unfair how much his shutting the phone off both hurt and elated her.  Hurt, because it was more proof that their relationship was damaged, that he no longer saw her as trustworthy.  Elevated because he noticed her there, and also saw her as enough of a competition not to talk to his guys in front of her.  The hurt was leaning towards winning though.  Because she didn’t like being seen as his competition,even if that meant that he was finally seeing her as being competent and able to do her job.  It honestly made no sense, these feelings he brought out in her.

But then again, neither did the fact that helping him open his door brought back warm memories of doing the same thing during the last two campaigns.  He never could do it right. Often enough hotel workers thought they were a married couple because they always saw Donna open his room and go in before getting to hers.  But she didn’t want to think of that time warmly.  It made her question the reasoning behind her leaving.

She just wished Josh Lyman would stop turning her insides into conflicted jelly.  She missed their friendship, barring the work issues.  And she was not oblivious to the advantages that her leaving had put them into, though it radically changed their dynamic in both the friendly and the more then friendly ways.

She wondered for half a second if she should just walk over to his room, and when he answered the door, push him against the wall and kiss him.  It would get his attention, that is for sure, and perhaps he’d finally see her as not just an office tool.  Of course he could also push her away and she’d ruin what little was left of their friendship.  In the end she laughed at the idea to herself and went to bed.  

Not knowing of course that Josh had been on the other side of the door with similar thoughts of his own.

 

 

 


	13. October 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Issue October. We have Josh broadening his career goals, some J/D angst, and some mix of fluff/angst.

(10/1)

**“I’m going to have to make a speech. I’m gonna need some kind of speech.”**

_Tom Mason “Falling Skies”_

* * *

 

“I’m going to have to make a speech.”

“You’ve made them before,”

“Not like this.  I’ve never run for office before, it was Sam’s thing.”

“Josh, you knew this was coming when you agreed to the idea.”

“I know, but you know how I am.  CJ is probably taping this to see how badly I do. I don’t do speeches well.”

“Didn’t Sam write you a speech for this?”

“Yes...”

“Well, then trust your best friend’s skill, and your natural charm that I might add has managed to keep you employed for the last sixteen years.  Not to mention got you a beautiful wife.”

“Ah, yes, that charm.  Somehow that particular brand is not going to help me win over the people of Connecticut.” He gave her the smile that usually turned her knees into jelly.  After 17 years of knowing this man, he still affected her.  She finally flattened his tie, having fixed it.

“Perhaps more of the first variety. You know you have a lot of support, Josh.  Everyone believes you can do this.”

“I know, but this is different.”  He looked past her where their two kids sat on the couch, their attention on the TV that was playing cartoons.  He could hear the crowd in the other room over the sound of the TV.  

“You are going to do great,” she stated.  He turned his attention back to his wife, who gave him a smile.  He leaned down and kissed her, knowing he had to go on stage in a few minutes.  Just being here with Donna was calming him down.”

“Have I mentioned that I love you,” he said when he released her.  She responded with a grin.

“You have, in fact, but I don’t mind hearing it again.  I love you too.  Now, they are about to announce you, so go out and become a Senator.”  She pushed him towards the steps that would take him to the stage where he was going to announce his running for senator for Connecticut.  He looked back one last time to see her smiling, supporting him still.

* * *

(1O/10)

 

**“That ain’t my wife. Keep asking her, and she keeps saying no.”**   
_Johnny Cash ‘Walk The Line’_

* * *

 

After the seventh billionth time someone called Donna his wife, Josh stopped correcting them.  He could understand the confusion. Hell, there were times where he wondered if they had gotten married, but he had forgotten about it.

Oddly enough, the idea of being married to Donna was not what bothered him.  It was the fact that he wasn’t bothered by the idea.  He could see himself in twenty or thirty years debating Tax rebates with Donna, and writing messages in books, and getting snarky replies when they argued.  He had long ago accepted the fact that he had feelings for Donna that had long outgrown their official relationship.

The issue was that he shouldn’t feel this way.  He shouldn’t feel this comfortable with the idea.  Beyond the idea that it was a bad idea to even consider it, if he went through with it tons of problems could occur.  Blocking out the potential scandal out of a molehill the Republicans could make out of it (He didn’t think the American people gave a crap who he slept with, just as long as it wasn't on their time...but the Republicans would probably make it sound like they were paying for some illicit affair.) there was also the problem that she might not be that keen on the idea.

So he just smiled when people would hand him keys for his ‘wife’ and him, or tell them they’d have cute kids (of course they would, although that was always an awkward statement once they realised he wasn’t involved with her at all).  He let himself pretend for a few minutes that he and Donna were married, and were the Nick & Nora of the political scene.  

It never lasted, but it was good while it did.

 

* * *

 

(10/27)

 

**“But every now and then, even years later, something reminds you of her.**  
 **Certain smell, a few notes of a song, and suddenly you feel just as bad as the day she**  
 **told you she never wanted to see you again. If you want to know the honest truth,you never completely**  
 **get over a woman you truly cared about.”**

_Tom Paris ‘Voyager’_

* * *

 

Josh swore he was going crazy. She hadn’t been apart of his life for over two weeks and he was still getting constant reminders of her. Pieces of their life together scattered across his apartment and office.  People would call and stop mid sentence as they remembered Donna wasn’t his assistant anymore.  She wasn’t his anything anymore.  She had made that quite clear.

Seeing her in Will’s office had been a stab in the heart.  Maybe that was melodramatic but he felt he had earned the right to be melodrama a time or two.  “Lets not make this a thing?”  What did she expect?  She had left him and as much as people kept telling him it was the job she left, he didn’t believe it.  If it was just the job, why didn’t she call?  Hell, he’d still accept the call if she called today.  But no, she hadn’t spoken a word to him in weeks.  Not a voicemail message, not an email, not even an angry “I really hate your guts right now” text.  It had been radio

Donna had never been afraid to call him on stuff.  She had never been afraid to say exactly what she thought, it was one of the reasons they hit it off when she started working for him, and it was one of the reasons he eventually fell in love with her.  

So he didn’t buy that she just left the job. She left him too, and apparently it wasn’t even big enough on her radar to constitute a thing. And to make things worse he gets back to his car irritated at her, irritated at Will’s not so subtle manipulation, turns the car on and when he puts the radio on, its “Monday Monday.”  

Like he needed reminders of that day.  He’s trying to balance everything out, trying to not feel hurt by the fact that he spent months working on that Chinese trip and he got pushed out of it.  Trying to keep things running while almost everyone else in the senior staff is off in China.  Trying to figure out how to deal with the issues he knew Donna was going to bring up.

Yes, he had been avoiding it, but not in the careless way she thought.  Toby and he had a plan.  A plan that would give Donna the growing room she wanted, and also present Josh with new options with what he had finally come out of denial on in Germany.

Except he never got to tell her, and frankly he’d rather she never knew now.

But he really wish it hadn’t ruined this song.  He had liked this song, but this was now a Donna song.  A song that would remind him constantly that she was gone.

And this time she wasn’t coming back.

 

 


	14. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo gives Josh some advice. Josh actually takes it.

**“That’s from a book I’m writing, ‘Things I Finally Learned After Getting Hit Over the Head With Them’**.”

_Jake Brown ‘Earth Star Voyager’_

 

* * *

 

Leo shook his head of Josh, who had cornered himself off from the rest of the group, looking over data again.  That kid was going to give himself a heart attack going this way, and Santos needed him too much for Leo to let that happen.  Plus he might have a soft spot for him himself.  He was the closest thing Leo had to a son.  It was flattering that Josh was trying to model himself after Leo, but really, there were certain elements Josh shouldn’t repeat.

“Josh, stop,” he said as he approached the younger man who looked up startled, then looked a bit guilty at being caught.  “There is nothing you can do today, and its a party.  Try and enjoy yourself.”

“But the cam..”

“But nothing, Josh. You are working yourself up on this and its not going to do the campaign very good if you drop over from the stress.”  he shook his head.  “And if there is one thing I learned from my experience doing what you are doing and as Chief of Staff its not to allow the beautiful and kind woman who loves you to feel ignored.”

Josh shook his head.  “Donna doesn’t care for me like that Leo, you know that.”

“Actually, I don’t.  Look, kid, I’ve watched the two of you circle around each other for nearly a decade.  You two love each other.  Now stop letting the stupid get in the way.  Go ask the girl for a dance.”

“Yes, Sir.” Josh said, a slight smile on his face.  Leo could tell that Josh wasn’t really buying what Leo was telling him, but was set to humor his mentor.  Leo watched as he walked across the room and walked up to Donna, who's smile at seeing Josh warmed Leo’s heart.  Maybe, just maybe, those two will smarten up and realise there was something more important than the party line.  Something he learned too late.  

Speaking of a lovely blonde in need of a dance, he spotted Annabeth standing beside the cookie table.

 

 


	15. March 2014 (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabbles from March 2014 (When prompted)

(3/3)

**“You think I need to open my eyes to know what’s going on with you?”**

Nathan Scott ‘One Tree Hill’

~*~

 

“Your stuff is in here,”  Josh said, tired and confused as he stopped in his room and noticed her bags beside his.

“Yeah, I moved my stuff up here earlier.” Donna replied, closing the door behind them.  She didn’t know what this would mean for them in their personal relationship, but she knew Josh better than anyone, knew that tonight would be rough on him.  It was nearly dawn, they had just gotten a president elected.

Josh was tired, grieving and in no way needing alone time.   

“Why don’t you get in the shower while I set up a wake up call.”  She said softly turning him towards the shower. He walked numbly into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.  She let a breath of relief when she heard the water running.  She was afraid he’d tell her to leave

She didn’t need to be a mind reader to know what was going through his mind.  SHe knew Josh.  She knew that he was blaming himself, blaming the campaign, for Leo’s death.  She knew that he was re-thinking everything that had happened in the last year.

She couldn’t make him stop thinking that, no matter what she tried. But she could be with him until he could understand it wasn’t his fault, that Leo had been so happy the last few months.   Josh had given him a new turn in life and Leo wouldn’t have regretted that for the world.

She picked up the phone and dialed the desk, allowing a few tears of her own to fall.

 

* * *

 

(3/4)

**“Have him take a look at your head”**

Jonathan Archer ‘Enterprise’

 

~*~

 

“What happened to Sam?”  Leo asked as he walked up to the President.  Sam was sitting on the bench with Ainsley Hayes looking at his forehead.  THe President, Josh and Toby were standing off to the side watching them, with Donna holding out a first aid kit to Ainsley.

“Tripped and hit his head,”  Jed replied, his breath still a little labored from the exhurstion.  One of the few perks of this job was being able to play basketball with his staff and call it a meeting.  It was fun, released stress and it still got business done.  They had been discussing a speech coming up when Sam had tripped and cut his forehead.

“Shouldn’t we get a doctor to look at it?”

“Nah, I think Sam’s quite alright with the attention he’s getting,” Jed commented with a smile. “If its more serious than a knick I’ll have Abbey look at it.  I don’t think he’s got a concussion.”

“I’d probably pretend I had one,”  Josh joked from behind them, a smirk on his face as he watched Sam being attended to.  Jed rolled his eyes and shared a look with Leo.  They both knew which blonde Josh was thinking about.

“Donna would see through that in a second, Josh,”  Leo replied.  “You might have one afterwards though.”

“And I doubt the First Lady would give you much help,” Toby joined in the joke as the three men teased Josh.

“Oh sure she would,” Jed added. “To a second concussion.”

 

* * *

 

(3/5)

**“Don’t stop the mindless violence for me.”**

Sue ‘Outnumbered’

~*~

Jed could hear the grandkids arguing over the playstation down the hall, but decided to ignore it for the time being.  His kids had had their own arguments as children, despite the age differences, and he knew that his grandkids were no different.

And then he heard crashing and decided he better get in there before Abbey came home to find her antique glass piglets were scattered across the livingroom floor.

“Oh, don’t stop the mindless violence on my account,” he stated as he entered the room to no reaction and the children continued to wrestle around.  The only ones who seemed to notice were Josh and Donna’s youngest Lizzie (who reminded him a bit of his own Lizzie) and Zoey’s oldest Gavin.  

Ellie’s two children Emma and Nathan were on the floor.  He might have felt a bit of pride that his granddaughter was holding her own, except Nathan was two years younger and smaller so Emma had an unfair advantage.

They sprung apart at their grandfather’s voice and had the decency, he noticed, to look a little embarrassed at being caught fighting.

“Now what exactly is going on here?”

“They were hafing a debate,”  Lizzie stated around her thumb.  At four, she was the youngest of the group.  Emma was 7, Nathan and Gavin 5.

“A debate about what?”  Jed asked turning back to the two in question.  

“Nathan said I couldn’t be President if I wanted to because he’s job as the boy.”

“Now Nathan, where did you hear that?”  Jed was surprised. Ellie would not have raised her children to think that their gender had anything to do with their future occupations.

“The news.  They always look to the boys to follow in the family business.”  He shrugged.

“Well, the girls can too,” Jed stated.  “Look at your Aunts Donna & Zoey.  You don’t see them standing aside so the boys can do all the work.”  He sat down on the couch. It was time for a lesson about the women in government.  

 

 

 

 


	16. January '14 Part 1

(Jan 2)

**“Great leadership, by the way. Restored my confidence”**

_Jack ‘Silent Witness’_

~*~

_Special note: This actually has nothing to do with the prompt, but the prompt inspired this scene anyway.  I hope you don’t mind._

“I saw your picture today.”

“Of course you did.”

“Your aerodynamics were fascinating”

“Are you just calling to gloat?

“Of course, not.  But while I have the chance..”

“Abbey.”

“I talked to Morris, he says you’ll be fine.  A minor sprain, that’s all.”

“Well, thank you for telling me what I already know.”

“You see, I wasn’t sure, seeing as I found out you ran into a tree from CNN instead of you, and I thought perhaps you had some brain damage that Morris couldn’t detect and had selective amnesia.”

“It was a sprain, Abbey!  You were asleep.”

“Actually, I wasn’t, but that’s not the point.  You should have called.”

“Fine, Next time I get a bump or a bruise, I’ll make sure the first task, before getting to any care, is to call my wife.”

 

* * *

 

(Jan 4)

 

**“You just tried to kiss me because... it just happened?**   
**You should try taking credit for something every once in a while.”**   
_June Carter ‘Walk The Line’_

 

~*~

Donna had time to contemplate Josh’s apology had had come to several conclusions.  One, He was an idiot if he thought she bought that he was sorry about kissing her.  There was a bit too much kissing going on for it to be a momentary lapse in judgment.  They had gone back for more, and had Santos not been coming down the hall to see his campaign manager, it might have gone to other pleasant activities.

Two, it wasn’t inappropriate.  Not anymore.  They had known each other too long, and she wasn’t his employee anymore. Well, not directly anyhow. While the situation would be a little difficult to explain, those whose opinion mattered to them knew enough to know that neither was taking advantage of their positions.

Three, if someone was going to break this stalemate they had going on of awkward glances, it was going to be her.  Because she wasn’t a bit sorry either, and she was tired of second guessing her feelings towards Josh.  Clearly he reciprocated some of them.

So she did something she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t regret later on and walked up to his door, and knocked.  She was glad they were in DC and therefore it was his apartment, because she didn’t have to deal with other people milling about.  

When he opened the door, and looked confused at seeing her there and adorably rumpled from what was probably the only nap he was likely to get, she said nothing but walked forward and laid one on him.

At first there was little reaction, but it wasn’t long before she felt his arms go around her and pull her closer, and draw her into the kiss.  He pulled her through the door and they both stumbled around trying to close it without letting go of each other, but finally he let go to close the door.  He leaned up against it and looked at her.

“I take it you were okay with the kiss.”

“I felt more research needed to be conducted,” she joked with a smile.  Josh smiled, and she happy to see it. She hadn’t seen that happy smile for quite some time.  Probably before she left for Gaza. She had seen in this morning when he was smiling at her at the park, but this one promised something, while the other tried to hide that he liked the change in their relationship.

He walked towards her and returned to kissing her, this time slower and he nudged them to the couch.

 

 

* * *

 (Jan 5)

**“As I looked at all the relationships around me- Some that had gone on forever, some that were reigniting, and some that had just begun- I realised something. It should have been me.”**   
_JD ‘Scrubs’_

~*~

Josh blinked as he realised that he had finished what he could do before his 1:30 appointment with Senator Heisman of Indiana about a campaign trip. He had a moment to take a breath.

He hated these moments because it allowed him to think of things that could go wrong or worse yet, things that had nothing to do with the campaign but hurt more and frankly he’d rather not think of them at all.  He stood up from his desk and looked out of the window at the bullpen.

He could see them laughing together and felt a twinge of sadness.  It reminded him of the Bartlett Campaign...the first one.  Where they had been just a clutter of desks in a store front.  When they had broken old busses and no plane or motorcade procession.  Toby pacing as he wrote, Sam and CJ discussing ideas as they passed a basketball between the two of them.  Donna resting with her head on his shoulder.  All of them laughing at an interview where the then candidate Bartlet answered a badly put together question made to trip him up with a hilarious yet excellent answer.

He didn’t have what Leo had.  He never had the connection to these people the way Leo had with his team.  And that team should be here with him now.  But Toby was...not in the best place.  CJ was Chief of Staff and the president needed her.  They couldn’t all leave.  Sam was in California living a life, having a life.  And Donna....well, Donna was working for Lou and they were getting pretty darn good at ignoring the fact that they were both pissed as hell at each other.

He sighed and went back to his desk, leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.

 


	17. January '14 Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna thinks about leaving, Jed keeps a grudge, and Mandy tries to give Josh a clue.

**“Those words are gonna break my heart. We will see each other again someday, I promise.”**   
_Ellie ‘One Tree Hill’_

~*~

Donna hadn’t expected that leaving the campaign would be so hard.  That she would feel like crying on the way back to Madison.  She kept telling herself it was because that place was where she found out what she wanted to do with her life.  She wanted to get the right people elected so that things could change.  She wanted to make an impression on her country and her world.  

But she knew it was also because she had made the best friends she had in awhile there.  CJ, who had accepted her invasion into her life with a smile and sharing make-up tips over the seat on the bus before moving on to basketball scores.  Sam who had made a point of talking to her when she hadn’t known anyone and gave her a smile every time she walked in.  Toby who's gruffness hid a big heart and a man with deep convictions.  Margaret with her crazy comments which made each day fun, and of course Leo who guided them all.

She carefully avoided thinking of Josh.  Josh whose friendship had developed quickly.  Who probably meant the most to her.  Who she knew she was in danger of developing more feelings for then what was respectable for someone who hired you...or rather accepted that you hired yourself and didn’t contest it.  It had only been a month and she already considered Josh to be close to her best friend.

So it was probably best that Patrick had called.  That he wanted to try things again.  It kept her for falling for another guy and realising it too late.

But something told her this wasn’t the last time she would see her friends.  See Josh.

  
  


* * *

(Jan 9)   
  


**“He’s a good man, with a good heart. He doesn’t hold a grudge.”**

_Josh ‘The West Wing’_

~*~

 

Jed Bartlet sometimes felt that the people who worked for him saw better in him then there really was. He was the ‘real deal’ , ‘the guy’, and even when he was acting off his gourd and being a general pain in the ass they still treated him as if he knew the answer to everything.

It was a little annoying at times.  It was worse, of course, when they first started.  Toby and he never really got along but Toby had this idea of who he was. Josh and CJ were more likely to forgive his failures and make excuses for him.

Josh once told someone he never kept a grudge, and sitting here and thinking on it, Jed knew that to be untrue.  He kept grudges.  He kept grudges against Josh for awhile because of Carrick.  He kept a grudge against Leo for disagreeing for him.  He might not keep them long, but he kept them.

* * *

 

(Jan 10)

**"Aww, that's adorable, you have a crush on yourself.**   
**But be careful, the guy you're in love with is a douche."**

_Denise 'Scrubs'_

~*~

“You really are in love with yourself, aren’t you,”  Mandy commented, shaking her head in amusement at Josh’s actions.  “Alright, Superman.  We get it, you’re the man.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

“I feel I owe Donna a fruit basket.  The poor woman has been dealing with you for almost two years now and hasn’t run for the hills.  How is that possible.”

“I am a great boss.”

“Oh, sure,” she said with a laugh. “You keep her late, interrupt her dates, make her chase down politicians and you call yourself a great boss.”

“Donna has never complained.”

“Like she would.”

“What does that mean?”  Josh looked genuinely confused and a bit insulted at this point.

“That means is that Donna cares about you Josh, as a friend and probably more than that and telling you to stuff it isn’t going to happen, no matter how much she might think it.  She’s too nice and half in love with you to do it.”

“Donna has never been afraid to state her opinion.”

“Not all opinions are created equal, Joshua.”

 

 


	18. January '14 Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mallory observes at her Father's wake, Donna tells Josh some bad news, and Leo gives Josh some advice on his wedding day.

(Jan 12)

**“Your father was a hero, don’t ever forget that.”**

_Morgan ‘Criminal Minds’_

~*~

 

Mallory smiled as she was greeted by the guests at her father’s wake.  It was a sad smile of acknowledgement, rather than joy.  She heard so many stories over the course of the night of her father.  Some she knew already, some she didn’t.  Mostly good stories.

She heard about how much a mentor, a hero, her father was to so many people.  It made her glad that he affected so many lives.  She knew it long before he died, but it was comforting to know that there were so many people mourning with her.

Her father’s work “children” were all present except for Sam who had sent flowers.  He had been stuck in California because his girlfriend had just had her appendix removed.  He had called though, and had sent something so she knew he was there in spirit if not in body.

Annabeth, her father’s lover of sorts was there, unsure of her place.  Mallory had been surprised when a few weeks ago her father had called and told her he was seeing someone new.  He hadn’t really been into dating since he and Jordan had fizzled out.  But she had been happy to see how much Annabeth had made her father happy, and how much the woman had adored her father.  However their romance had been cut short, and Annabeth seemed as much out of sorts as Mallory herself felt.

Another person she knew probably felt like she did was Josh.  Out of all the people her father had worked with, Josh had been the closest.  His ‘son’ in all but blood.  It was rarely vocalized but she knew her father felt that way for Josh, and Josh had idolized her father. Always had.

She hoped her father knew how much of a hole he was leaving in people’s lives.  He meant so much to so many people.

 

* * *

 

(Jan 13)

**“He’s always there when we need him.”**

_Mick Rawson ‘Suspect Behaviour’_

_~*~_

 

Donna walked down the hallway in a daze. She couldn’t believe that Leo was on his way to the hospital again, possibly gone for good this time. She hadn’t been around the last time, but she could remember the fear of Leo being gone the shook everyone up a bit.  And now it was happening again.

She could see Josh at the end of the hall, talking on his phone, looking gloriously happy, something she hadn’t seen for awhile. She would like to think she was a part of that, but the fact that she had been the one to tell Josh about Leo made the smile that had almost came to her face never arrive.

She had done this before, on another election campaign. Walked towards an Ecstatic Josh who only wanted to dance with her and celebrate. Only then Leo had been there to help Josh pick up the pieces after his father died.  Leo wouldn’t be here now.  

She really hoped this wasn’t going to end that way.  

“Where were you...” Josh said as he reached her, a grin on his face and she was happy underneath the grief to see his eyes light up at seeing her. He stopped his words seeing her face

“Its Leo...”  She could feel the words trickle through to Josh. “Annabeth found him.  They are taking him to the hospital right now.  Josh, he wasn’t breathing.”

She could almost feel the floor fall out beneath him.

 

* * *

(Jan 14)

**“I want you to take this, so you can embrace new frontiers without the fear of getting lost. And more importantly, so that you can always find your way home.”**

_Mr. Thatcher ‘When Calls The Heart’_

~*~

Josh,

I hope Mallory never has to give you this letter, that I am able to give you this in person.  But given what has happened recently, I can’t rely on that happening.  So I am writing this letter.

My grandfather gave me this compass when I went married Jenny, and I wanted to pass this on to my son when he got married himself.  You are the closest to a son that I was ever able to have, so I have decided to give you this on your wedding day.

I’m sure you don’t need a compass to bring you home, all you need is Donna.  I know it will be Donna because I’ve watched the two of you over the last two years.  I know that you’ll never feel at home without the other one..  But if you ever need a reminder, this compass will serve as one.  Take care of her, Josh. I know I can trust her to take care of you, but don’t forget to take care of her as well.  I forgot that with Jenny.  

Our jobs are important, but so are our marriages.  Hopefully you’ll learn what I never did and be able to find the balance between the two.

Leo

 

 

 

 


	19. January '14 Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna has some clarification, finds out her son finds their father to be a better storyteller, and tries to get Josh to dance.

(Jan 21)

**“Me life flashed before me eyes, it was really boring.”**

_Babs ‘Chicken Run’_

~*~

Donna had never believed that one’s life truly flashed in front of your eyes upon near death, but she couldn’t argue that nearly dieing hadn’t made her reminiscent of times of her life. It made her reevaluate her career, her choices, her relationships.  It made her see things she had been in denial about for a long time.

For example, she hadn’t made a move to further her career because she had been afraid of leaving Josh.  Not that she truly thought he couldn’t live without her, she knew he could.  But there was a bit of codependency there and she had stocked so mcuh of her professional self-worth in what he had to say.  Leaving and going off by herself was scary and she wouldn’t have him by her side to work with.

Except her resentment of her own dawdling was starting to focus on him. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, as was it was made up of two imperfect human beings, but her frustration with herself had transferred to frustration with him.  Why hadn’t he pushed?  The President pushed Charlie.  Toby had pushed Sam.  Why hadn’t Josh pushed her?

She remembered one day when he had dismissed her job offer as something inconsequential.  And that added to her frustration.

But in those hours after she quit, when the realization of what she had just down filtered through the frustration and annoyance she realised she had focused so much anger on a person who didn’t deserve most of it.

It was something she struggled with for close to six months.  Actually even after they started a relationship she struggled with not blaming him for not moving sooner. Struggled not to fall into the same insecurities about their relationship and Josh’s dependence on it.

But near death had also clarified something else for her.  Josh was a part of her whether it was as her friend, or as her lover.  Not being part of his life had never really been an option even when she was too angry to care.

 

* * *

(Jan 22)

**“No, no, no. You don’t read it like that. Read it how daddy reads it!”**

_Karen ‘Outnumbered’_

~*~

 

“That’s not how Daddy tells the story.”  Donna sighed as she looked at her three year old son, who despite being the generic odds and being blonde otherwise looked like a pint sized version of his father.  It had been nap time and Donna was especially wishing for this particular naptime so she could take a nap herself.  8 months into her second pregnancy (which had been planned, quite unlike the one that led to her son) she could use a good nap or two herself.  He had asked for the story about how she and Josh had fallen in love, and she had told him the fantasy version, that left out all the dents and bends in the real story.

“And what does he tell you, Joey.”

“That it was love at first sight.”  

“Oh?”

“He says you ens...ensco....”  The little boy face showed his frustration at not being able to get the word out, much like his father’s looked like when he couldn’t get a bill passed.  If she hadn’t been there for the delivery she might have wondered if Josh had cloned himself.

Ruth assured her that Josiah was better behaved.

“Daddy had a crush.”  Why Josh using ensorcelled around their toddler she didn’t know.

“Yeah.”

“Daddy might have been a little head of the game.”  Forgot a few details.

“You didn’t love him right away.”

“Nope, he had to win me over,”

“And its a good thing I did.”  They both looked up to see Josh standing in the doorway, tie halfway off and leaning against the door with a amused grin on his face.

“Daddy!”  Joey rushed off the bed, making Donna groan.  So much for nap time.

“Hey kido.”  Josh stated, picking him up.  “Giving your mom a hard time.”

“She doesn’t tell the story like you do.”

“Well, then we’ll just have to tell her the story the, won’t we.  Back into bed.”  Joey did as he was told, moving over so his father could sit on the edge. Josh sat down, grinning at Donna as he did.  “Now, where should we start...”

 

* * *

(Jan 23)

**"The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better."**

_JD 'Scrubs'_

~*~

“Donna,” Leo greeted as he approached her, warmed by the quick response with a wide smile that she sent his way.  Donna had always made it seem like seeing him made her day just a little bit better, and he couldn’t lie and say it hadn’t made him feel better over the years.

“Hey, Leo.  CJ and Will did a great job,” she said point to the decorations around them.  Leo was glad this hadn’t been his job.  He wished his real reason to find Donna had been to discuss something as simple as the ambiance and the job that those two had put into it.

“They did indeed.  Look, Donna, have you seen Josh?”

“Not since before the ceremony,” she responded before pausing for a moment.  “I’m worried about him, Leo.”

“Yeah, Kid.  Me too.”  Leo sighed.  Josh had always been a workaholic, but this past year he had gotten worse.  And the party, and sadly he included him in that group right now, had treated him poorly.  First they had treated him badly because he was the guy who left ranks to go find another guy to be President.  He had understood...Bob Russell was not someone the party should have backed.  They were made he showed them up, found a guy who succeeded in becoming what they wanted.  And now that Josh had finally made a mistake, they were enjoying throwing it in his face.

Goodwin and the others hadn’t been happy with Josh since Carrick.  

Normally this wouldn’t be a bit thing.  Josh usually let it roll off his shoulders and carried on, but this time it was sticking and he was going overboard trying to figure out where he went wrong and how to correct it.

“Do you think Santos will fire him?”  Donna asked.  Leo smiled at the slight anger that filtered through in her tone.  Donna was ready to defend Josh against Santos.  It was nice to know that Donna was still in Josh’s corner.

“I doubt it.  He’ll listen to them, make it sound like  he’s considering their advice, but in the end he’ll stick with Josh. He got him here, Convinced them was a good idea.  Matt knows that.  Plus he knows Josh...maybe not like you and me, but he knows Josh.  We should probably distract Josh from his not so impeding doom for awhile though.”

“I tried Leo, but he wasn’t really even noticing I was there.  He was too focused on his map.”

“Get him to dance.  He can’t look at map when he’s dancing.”

“I’ll try,” Donna said, amused. “Getting Josh to dance might be harder than getting Josh to let go of the map.”

 

 

 


	20. January '14 Part V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CJ reflects, Sam's got a T-shirt that Leo might not care for, Josh and Donna welcome their baby while Jed is having a bit of an crisis

(Jan 24)

**“You’re an inexperienced captain. You’re commanding an inexperienced crew.**

**You’re in over your head. Why don’t you just quit?”**

_Jake Brown ‘Earth Star Voyager’_

~*~

There were days Jed Bartlet wasn’t sure what he was doing.  Sure, some points were obvious.  He was running for President.  He felt he had a lot to offer the American public.  But he was running a campaign that was barely making it into double digits in polls, with a bunch of kids running it. Hell, half the time He couldn’t recall their names.  Leo had fired all of his regulars and hired a bunch of talented but unknown characters.

He supposed he wasn’t helping them, but he really didn’t know them and they didn’t know him. They hadn’t found a routine or a system of working together.  It was like Leo had taken his nicely put together puzzle and repainted it before breaking it up and throwing the pieces on the table.

The worst part, he thought, was that Abbey for some odd reason could greet them by name.  She knew these kids, she knew what they did.  She had chats and late night drinks with them.  She agreed with Leo that they were better than the old team. So she wouldn’t listen to him complain.

Honestly, if a man couldn’t complain about his employees to his wife, who could he complain to.

 

* * *

 

(Jan 25)

 _"Nothing matters. We're essentially all highly evolved monkeys clinging to a rock that's falling through space and the rock itself is dying_."

_Frankie Boyle 'Mock The Week'_

~*~

To be fair, Donna was sure what Sam was saying was important and that Sam was saying something she should be listening to. However while he was rambling on about Monkeys and space and people’s complacency all she could look at was the shirt he was wearing under his unbuttoned work shirt.

Normally Sam was polished and wore bright white business shirts, ties and a very nice suit.  Donna had often admired his sense of style and upkeep of his wardrobe. When he was in casual wear, he, like Josh, preferred sweaters and plan t-shirts.  Not today.  It was a Saturday, most of the office was done for the day.  Donna was there because she wanted to make sure Josh didn’t stay too much longer.  He was still recovering, and everyone knew that without careful watching he’d probably start living in his office.  Sam was working on some speech about technology and the environment and she had gone in to help him.

His shirt was unbuttoned, this time a dark grey shirt, and underneath was a t-shirt.  One with an interesting saying.

“Who wants a piece of elephant?”  she blurted out, interrupted Sam.

“What?  Oh.”  Sam looked down and noticed what she had been looking at.  “Mallory got it for me.  Thought it was funny.”  Donna bit her lip to keep from laughing.  She wondered what Leo thought of a shirt that read “Democrats make better lovers:  Who ever heard of a good piece of Elephant.”

“Does her father know she got you a shirt that talked about your abilities as a lover?”

At Sam’s expression she did burst out laughing.

 

 

* * *

 (Jan 26)

_“I don’t think you heard me. I don’t need or want your company.”_

**Elizabeth Thatcher ‘When Calls the Heart’**

~*~

Donna smiled as she looked at Josh looking down at the baby he was holding, grinning with a look of amazement on his face.  It was a lovely sight to wake up to.

“Bring him over here,” she said, reaching for her child. When the baby boy was put into her arms, she knew she had the same look of awe that Josh had previously had.  It was amazing to think that this beautiful little person had come from the two of them.  

“Should I leave,” Josh asked with amusement coloring his time.  “I believe you made it clear you didn’t want me around.”

“Oh, shut it,” she said rolling her eyes.  She had been the middle of labor, in pain and Josh was woosey and she just wanted Toby to take Josh out of the room before he passed out and the nurses had to split their attention on another patient. She turned attention back to their son.  “He’s pretty much perfect isn’t he.”

“Of course he is, he’s your son.”  Josh wrapped an arm around her and she leaned her head against his cheek as the two of the looked down.  “The rest of the gang are in the waiting room waiting to meet him.  I thought we’d wait till you were rested up and introduce him together.”

“Bring them in.”

The room became quite crowded when the Deputy Chief of Staff, One of the White House Counsel, the First Lady’s Press Secretary, Media Consultant, A former President and his wife all walked into the room. Toby had gone home to tell Andi that the baby had been born.

Donna didn’t think she’d ever forget Jed Bartlet’s face when he was handed her son and was told the boy’s name was Josiah Thomas Lyman.  Named after two men who had greatly influenced his parents.

 

* * *

 

(Jan 27)

**“He put himself out there and sometimes that means taking risks,**

**and doing things you could never imagine yourself doing.**

**Because you have this crazy idea that you just might be able to make a difference.”**

_Pratt ‘ER’_

~*~

CJ had to admit she was a bit worried for her pseudo-baby brother.  At the wedding Josh looked one campaign meeting away from a stroke.  He was pale, looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and probably hadn’t eaten anything that hadn’t come in a styrofoam cup or a hostess wrapper.  His hair was every which way, which while not unheard of it usually had some semblance of order even on messy days.

His near ignorance of Donna was another bad sign.  Josh was hardly ever able to ignore Donna, even on days he wanted to.  The two were usually so synced that she could figure a way past whatever he put up and get him to deal with whatever it was.  Only this time he seemed unaware and unaffected by Donna’s usual insistence.

When she had heard the rumors about the party wanting to fire Josh because of campaign mistakes she had wanted to scream.  Of course she didn’t.  She was Chief of staff and had half a dozen things that screaming would put in the hard to get pile.  But inwardly she wanted to hit them all.

She knew Josh felt he was making a difference by getting Santos elected.  And given the lackluster support he had in the start, it was amazing he had gotten so far.  And most of the time he had been alone.

She made herself promise to call him more often, and not just about party business.  To remind him he still had friends who cared for him even if they couldn’t come out and support him because they were too busy holding a country together.  She felt bad about how their relationship had cooled over the last year, especially knowing her treatment of him over the China issue might have been one of the straws that broke the camel’s back.  The main straw of course had been Donna leaving.

She wouldn’t think about how guilty she felt about her involvement in that part.

 


	21. January '14 Part VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jed misses his kids, Josh misses Leo. The last of the January Drabbles.

(Jan 29)

**“Here’s to absent friends and the one’s who are here now.”**   
_Jed ‘The West Wing’_

_~*~_

Jed watched as his team wondered out of the room after the morning briefing.  It seemed so odd sometimes to look at this group and not see some of the faces he had become so used to.

Leo was gone, CJ stepping up in his place. Toby was gone, and Will was now his voice.  Sam was gone without replacement, and Kate Harper was there with no one to replace.

And Josh was gone too. He had to admit that he and Leo had sometimes joked about this group being their family, but it seemed more like the family was broken, and still breaking. Leo was happily running for Vice President, and Josh was being Santos’ Leo.  So in that sense, the kids were growing up.  CJ was making a good Chief of staff, so that too was not a problem.

But Toby still hurt his heart.  He understood partially what had made Toby make that decision, but it didn’t stop him from feeling betrayed.  Abbey had been more sympathetic, had made Jed see past the pain, but it still only went so far.

A part of him wished he could go back, to those happy early years where he and Toby argued over language, Josh was watching Donna with love in his eyes as they walked down the halls, CJ was their women on the front line of the press and Sam brought his youthful energy and passion to the group.  When he and Leo trusted each other completely.

He sighed and turned back to his desk.  The American people had work for him to do. He could leave the wondering to when he was off the clock.

 

* * *

(Jan 30)

**Thank you for that. For being my teacher."**

_JD 'Scrubs'_

Josh didn’t know what to say now that he was there.  He could feel Donna holding onto his arm, as if she felt he was going to fly away at any moment.  It was a calming situation, so it didn’t bother him.  He wasn’t used to her being able to be so close.  He almost felt like he had to step away so no one thought anything of it.  Except now there was something to think about, and there was no reason to deny it anyone.

Especially not at Leo McGarry’s funeral.

He felt drained, and he felt almost numb.   He had already cried, thankfully in the privacy of his bedroom with only Donna as witness.  It was all cried out now, so he could be more supportive of Mallory and her kids.  And Annabeth, who had been Leo’s companion the last few weeks.

The man he saw as his mentor, his teacher and his secondary father was now gone, and in a few hours would be buried beneath the hard ground of Virginia. The man who had pushed and prodded when he needed it, had supported him when he fell down, who had been the one to help lead him back when everything seemed bleak. Leo McGarry was gone.

He finally had a relationship with Donna that had no boundaries or walls between them and the one person he would have wanted to tell the most was not there to see it. Leo had known what Josh had felt for Donna, had known before Josh was even able to express and understand it himself.  Had twisted things so that whenever the bell finally went off in Josh’s head there would be less complications.

He had taught Josh everything he knew about politics that his real father had left out.  He had tugged him along on a wild adventure with Bartlett and seven years of doing the greatest things he could do as a political operative.  Serving a good man and doing the work for the American people.  And now he got to do it again, but this time without Leo and it felt wrong.

He was glad Donna wasn’t saying anything to try to comfort him.  She knew him well enough that saying things like “He knew how much you loved him,” wouldn’t help. She just stood by his side, as she usually did and squeezed his hand to show she was there if he needed her.

He hoped she knew how much that meant to him.

 

 


	22. March '14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbey & Donna wait together, Jed comes to terms with his candidacy, Josh has some thoughts about Calley, and Matt Santos would just like if Josh took a vacation.

(3/6)

**“I want to listen, you know. If you want to tell me.”**

_Cate Cassidy ‘Life UneXpected’_

~*~

 

“Donna,”  Abbey said lightly, not wanting to startle the younger woman. She had been staring at the waiting room door for the past hour, and she knew it would do Donna no good to continue it. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

“I’m alright.  Thank you, Ma’am.”  Abbey almost told her to just call her Abbey, but recalled at the last moment it would probably not happen.  One of the cons of being first Lady is being Called Ma’am by people you would consider your friends.  

“If you need to talk, I’m available, you know that don’t you.”  She finally said.  They had a common bond now, one she wished they hadn’t.  Rushing to the hospital to find out the men they loved were in or were going into surgery and there was nothing they could to help.  Even Abbey, with her medical degree, could do nothing at this moment.  But she could sit and listen to Donna, who had the longer wait if Donna needed to be heard.

She could tell Donna was going through a personal crisis of her own.  

“Thank you, Ma’am.”  She said again, almost monotone, staring at the wall again.

Abbey simply smiled and continued with their watchful vigil.

 

* * *

 

(3/9)

**“That hill looks closer tonight than it ever has before.”**

_Ginger ‘Chicken Run’_

_~*~_

 

It was at Illinois that it finally seemed like it was going to happen.  He was going to be President.  That this team of half-knowns that Leo had assembled were going to meld as a group, and get him through this.  

There was still so much to do, but he could see the end of the tunnel.  Granted, the tunnel ended, you got about 2 minutes of daylight before you were in another tunnel that would last somewhere between 4 and 8 years.  

He just hopped he could make them proud.  Make people like Josh’s father right in believing in him.  It was a bittersweet night, with Josh leaving for his father’s funeral yet at the same time the pieces seemed to fall into place as they stood there looking at each other.  Josh believed in him, his father had believed in him.  So did Leo and the rest of the kids.

He was going to be President, and he was going to show them what they had put their faith in.

 

* * *

 

 

 

(3/10)

**“Well, you have two choices. You can either tell on her or look the other way.”**

_Cox ‘Scrubs’_

~*~

 

Josh took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.  It would do Donna no good to see how nervous he really was.  He was taking a gamble that Calley had enough of an appreciation for the wonderful person Donna was that he wouldn’t throw them all under the bus.

He hadn’t read the diary. Just asked for the pages about Calley and photocopied them. He didn’t even read those pages. He really didn’t want to know about that part of her life. He tried to ignore that she dated at all. He knew she was an adult, a healthy female of the species and quite capable of wanting something outside of work including having a sex life, but he didn’t like to think about it.

Though he would probably say it was because it interfered with doing the president’s business, but Jed Bartlet would probably give him a look over his glasses and start on a lecture about the history of couples who divided by one thing or another.

He knew he had no right to complain, he dated himself.  Rarely, but he did.  And there was no reason for him to involve himself in Donna’s dating life.  Especially since he couldn’t be the guy he wanted to be to her.

And he was going to tuck that lovely thought back into the “NOT GOING TO HAPPEN” box that most of his stray thoughts about himself and Donna in romantic situations had to be put.

He wrapped his arms around her and watched for Calley. Hoping he understood what a wonder Donna was, yet hoping he didn’t understand the way Josh himself did.

 

* * *

 

 

(3/12)

 

**“Would it kill you to smile. Seriously.”**

**George Foyet ‘Criminal Minds’**

~*~

“You know, Josh, its okay to take a break and have some fun sometimes,”  Matt Santos said with a grin, teasing his campaign manager.  Well, half teasing.  There were moments when he really was concerned for him.  Josh seemed to be working 24-7, and while that benefited Matt, he was worried Josh was going to end up collapsing.

“I know that,” Josh said, returning the smile.  It didn’t go to his eyes.  It rarely did.  Matt thought he knew why, but he wasn’t sure.  It wasn’t easy to ask someone if they were homesick for a job.  For his old gang.  And if rumors around the Hill were true, a ex-girlfriend slash Sidekick.  “I’ll take time off, don’t worry.  We just need to get through the next couple of weeks.”

“Alright,” Matt replied, not knowing when to push Josh.  He didn’t know him that well yet.  “Make sure that you do, or I’ll have to set Helen on you.”  That did Josh to smile a bit more genuinely.

“I’m not sure she’d help you,”  Josh joked.  “I don’t think she’s forgiven me yet for getting you into this crazy circus.”

“Oh, she’s forgiven you,”  he answered laughing. “But she hasn’t forgotten.”

 

 


	23. March '14 Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna is on a mission, Josh finds out his family is larger then he expected, and Danny has some revelations of his own. Helen Santos gives good advice to her husband, and finally Donna quits her job.

(3/13) 

**“I’ve talked myself into things that aren’t true lots of times.”**

_Gates ‘ER’_

~*~

Donna knew she was good at denial.  Her denial was honed over many years and was particular in its completeness. She talked herself into believing what she and Josh had was normal for their alleged level of relationship, she talked herself into believing she wasn’t really in love with him, that it was just being so close of friends.

And when she left she talked herself into being angry at him, at making all her frustrations about her job, her life, her relationship him to be because of him.  It made leaving easier.  It made dealing with the loneliness a bit easier.

And she was able to hold it up until they were on the Santos Campaign together.  She argued with herself that Josh’s ego was bruised and that was why he was treating her way.

Except that didn’t last long.  For as arrogant as Josh seemed outwardly, she knew better than to think it went all the way through.  And hearing comments from other staffers on Josh’s behavior that seemed out of character only made it harder to be in denial anymore.

She was right to leave, that was something she’d always believe.  But she started to reconsider her preconceptions about Josh’s reactions surrounding it.  He was hurting, she could tell, but it wasn’t from her snipes at his ego.  It went deeper than that.  He wasn’t trusting anyone, because everyone, including her, out of his previous group of friends had let him down in a small amount of time.  They had bad timing, it seemed.  Her leaving just seemed like a another in a series of disappointment instead of a wake-up call of their relationship.

Thats why he never called.  He gave up because he was tired of fighting, and he gave up on her.  

It made her sad, and it made her wonder if they would ever bring out the Josh she knew had to still be there.  She saw it from time to time.  Trapped under two years of compounding disappointment and feeling abandoned.

She determined then and there to start to work to repair their relationship.  She wanted her friend back, and she knew he did too, he was just too tired and scared to admit or attempt it.  So she’d make the first moves.  It wouldn’t be easy, but it was worth it.

She wanted her best friend back, and there was nothing to make her believe she couldn’t.

 

* * *

 

(3/14)

 

**Words sadly are just words and they can’t possibly convey the gratitude that I have in my heart**

**for those that it has been my privilege to call family since this nightmare began.”**

_Tom Mason ‘Falling Skies’_

~*~

 

After being shot, Josh was grateful to realise how much of a family he had. If he had been asked before hand who his family was, he would have mentioned his mother.  He had few cousins, none of them particularly close, and his father and sister were both dead.  Afterwards, he realised his family was a lot more extended than he previously thought.

He had a second and third father in the form of Jed Bartlet and Leo McGarry.  He had heard Abbey Bartlet once joke that she felt like the stepmother with the senior staff as the children of Jed & Leo, but after Rosslyn he knew what she was saying.

He had brothers in Sam, Toby, and Charlie.  He suspected that finding him was one event that Toby was never going to forget, and Charlie was still blaming himself for what happened years later.  Sam had already been like a younger brother to him, though he probably wouldn’t have said that outloud.  

He had a sister in CJ, who listened to his rambles during recovery with a smile and only a few eye rolls.

And then there was Donna.  His best friend. He wasn’t sure what role she played in his family metaphor, but she was as much his family as anyone else.

There was Margaret, his crazy cousin.  Dolores Landingham, the gentle Aunt who could do more with a look than most could do with yelling.

He had a large family that cared deeply about him, and he about them.  He was a little annoyed with himself that it took a near death experience for him to realise that, but it was true.

* * *

 

 

(3/15)

**“You know, all my life I’ve always been a bit of a scaredy. Always worrying about the worst case. Well here it is.**

**I don’t think it’s possible to get any worse. So there’s nothing left to be scared about, except that moment before the end.”**

_Vincent ‘The Deep’_

~*~

 

He figured,considering his profession, that if something were to happen to CJ, his heart would stop for a second, something lyrically profound.  But no, his heart didn’t stop when he heard the gunshots, nor when they said “Shots had been fired.”  Not even when the reality sunk in and he knew it was an attempt at the lives of the President and his daughter.

Instead he got pissed and then got dedicated.  Apparently his method of dealing with the possibility that his quasi-girlfriend (what else do you call a woman who will make out with you but won’t have dinner with you?) might have been injured is to be in full White House Reporter mode and focus on work and only work for the three days till things settled down.

The heart stopping, panic settling in moment came afterwards.  When he went home for the first time in days, dropped his suit jacket on the dining room chair and got hit by the fact that CJ had been shot at.  

He sat down and took a deep breath.  He wasn’t at all comfortable with the idea that the fact that CJ might have gotten hurt was hitting him harder then the fact that Sam had been.  Despite his interest, he knew he wasn’t in love with her...not yet.  He knew he could be, probably was halfway there.  But he wasn’t there yet, and she was no where close to being there.  There should have been no difference between the relief that Sam was okay then it was with her.  But there was.

It was harder to ignore it when he was home alone then when he had his teeth on something like the lack of the memo giving the Vice President temporary powers.

It was alot harder to ignore that he might just have slipped into love anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

(3/17)

**“You don’t have the power to fix everything. But I do like watching you try.”**

_Abbey ‘The West Wing’_

~*~

 

“Something wrong?”  Helen asked as she watched her husband sit on the bed. The wedding had been beautiful and it had been nice to have a change of pace from the campaign, but she could see something was weighing on her husband.

“Depends on your definition of wrong,”  Matt said with a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face before resting his elbows on his thighs and staring at the floor.  “Some of the party leadership want me to toss Josh.”

“What for?”  Helen was surprised.  She had her problems with Josh, but she couldn’t deny that Matt wouldn't have gotten this far without him.  The man had a singular determination to see her husband in the white house.

“Iowa Media.”

“Like he could have predicted that.  He’s not god.”

“Well, they asked me to consider it.”

“What did Leo say?”

“He thinks its stupid and insulting to the campaign.  But then again, Josh is like a son to him.  Honestly I don’t get firing him for a mistake any one of us could make, but I have to consider it.”

“Because the leadership asked?”

“Yes.”

“I think its a stupid decision and you should ignore it.”

“Ignore the people trying to get me elected?”

“That would be Josh.”  She walked over to sit beside her husband.  “Forget the leadership.  They didn’t get behind you till you won the nomination.  And that was because of Josh.  He’s been here since the beginning and other than this he hasn’t shown us that he is not sure of what he was doing.” She paused.  “I suppose he knows all about what they are saying about him.  Would explain that heartburn like look on his face all afternoon. “

“Leo said he would talk to him.  The guy is going to give himself a heart attack before I get into office.”

“So whats your final decision?”

“You know what it is.”

“Then forget those old fogeys who are so eager to toss people overboard and hold on to your manager.  He’s given us enough loyalty.”

 

* * *

 

 

(3/26)

**“We’re done talking now, you can go.”**

**_CJ ‘The West Wing’_ **

~*~

 

Donna hadn’t stopped moving till she got to her car.  It was only then that what had just happened settled in.  She had quiet her job.  SHe had finally gotten enough courage to quit her job and seek better opportunities.  Half of her was proud and joyful.

The other part was scared shitless.  She didn’t have any offers at the moment.  She could ask Will, she supposed.  The Vice President was still building his team.  Or she could ask about that webzine position, see if it was still available.  But it was scary knowing she had no saftey net at the moment spare her somewhat good resume.

A tiny part of her was heartbroken though.  Josh had pushed her away, had ignored her requests.  Had kept making other things, other people priorities.  He never used to do that.  And today she had just ended any chance of him changing that.  She knew, in the back of her mind, that there were a lot of things Josh was juggling lately. She knew it would probably be a few hours before he understood she had meant every word she said.

And she was just angry enough not to care too much if it hurt him.  But there was a part of her that cared.  Taking a deep breath and pushing that small part of her deep down, she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

Tomorrow was a new day.

 

 


	24. April '14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CJ remembers the good old days, and Josh thinks about his relationship with Donna.

(4/03/14)

**We sit here, we drink this beer out on this stoop, in violation of about 47 city ordinances.”**

_Josh ‘The West Wing’_

CJ sipped her beer, leaning up against the cold iron of the bannister leading up to Josh’s apartment.  It seemed like forever since they had sat out here, enjoying the warmer then usual fall after Josh had been shot.  The only person missing was Toby.

Josh sat on the top step, this time dressed in jeans and a Yale hoodie, Donna snuggled into his side.  This time they weren’t in denial or trying to avoid people talking. It was nice.  Sam sat where Toby had sat that long go Fall night, laughing as Josh told a story about early in the campaign.

This was nice, she thought.  Almost like it used to be, before the scandals and crisis wore them all down, before Sam left to try and get elected in California, before Toby ever thought of betraying the White House, before Donna and Josh both imploded under the stress of tragedy and censure had put on them.

She should be at work, should be back in the office, but Danny (and to lesser extent the President) had convinced her to take this one night off to hang out with her friends.  To remember when they were idealistic and upbeat even as they lost.

She loved these three human beings as much as was possible.  They were her family.  Her slightly kooky younger brothers, her sister who was almost as mischievous as CJ herself. They had lost so much over the years but it hadn’t changed that they were family.  Dysfunctional, but still family.

“I love you guys,” she said out loud, much to the surprise of everyone.  Donna smiled softly as the two boys blinked at her in surprise.  However, it was Josh who finally said anything, his smile warm, something she hadn’t seen for quite some time.

“Love you too, CJ.”

 

 

* * *

 

(4/25/14)

 **“I love everything about her, and I’m not a guy who says that lightly. I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life. I’m a guy who thought love was just something idiots felt,  
** **but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to. And there have been times when I wanted to.** ”

_Barney Stinson ‘How I Met Your Mother’_

 

Josh really wished he could stop feeling something for Donna.  When he had first realised he was falling for his close friend and assistant he hadn’t been too bothered by it.  They had been on the campaign, and he had been dating someone else.  He figured it would just go away.  That the pull Donna had on him since the first day would one day fade into just a warm memory.

Except it hadn’t, and as the years went by the pull got stronger.  He started to want things, things he couldn’t have.  Not really.  Interoffice dating was not completely against the rules, but dating your assistant was frowned upon almost everywhere. And he had always known she’d get the brunt of that scandal.  It wouldn’t have been a big one.  No one outside of DC cared that much about his love life.  Well, there were the LemonLymans, but he was pretty sure they would probably send Donna a fruit basket and wish her luck dealing with him.

And it just seemed like it was more on his side.  He knew that Donna felt fondness for him.  Sometimes he wondered if it had crossed that unseen line like his had, but she always was able to keep herself clearly on her side.

Except now everything was different.  Their dynamic was different and he didn’t know how to navigate both trying to stop loving her and dealing with the fact that they weren’t the same.  It wasn’t the power issue, not really.  He had always thought her ready for great things and expected she would show everyone up. So he never expected her to do a bad job working for Lou.  But they didn’t banter like they did before.  They still had jagged edges, edges he wasn’t sure what the cause of was yet. Well, that wasn’t exactly true.  He knew it had something with her thinking he didn’t want to help her achieve more than what she had been at the White House.  Which was false, but he couldn’t blame her.  He hadn’t done enough to show how much he appreciated her, or told her about his plan with Toby.  They hadn’t been talking enough.

They rarely talked now.  It would make it so much easier if he could just cut that part of him that loved her out.  So that he didn’t long to hear her tease him about his drinking, or tie his bow tie while debating policy.  So he could be completely professional when it came to her.

Except he had finally realised he couldn’t.  Never could. The professional and the personal were wrapped up in a codependent spiral that he couldn’t separate.  He needed her around professionally, and he needed her around personally and he couldn’t separate the two.

Which left him sitting by himself in the war room while watching her laugh and smile at the other staffers.  Watch her enjoy her time in their company.

 


	25. May '14 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 2014 Drabbles.
> 
> 1\. Josh returns home from a long Trip  
> 2\. Jed & Leo talk after the events of 'What Day Its Been"  
> 3\. Josh Proposes  
> 4\. Jed feels guilty about his fight with Leo  
> 5\. Donna has a date

**“How do you change subjects so fast?”**

_Josh ‘The West Wing’_

(5/1)

 

Josh stood staring at his daughter wondering what to talk about first.  He had just gotten home from a trip with the President to the Netherlands, and was exhausted.  But his four year old daughter had greeted him at the door with about six different questions, on about four different subjects.

“Lizzie, your father can answer those, one at a time,  tomorrow morning.  Its time for bed.  Go get ready for your bath.”  Lizzie frowned in the time honored tradition of small children who hated bathtime.  Josh smiled as he remembered Joey’s same reaction to bath time when he was younger.

It was hard to believe that his son was already going to school.  Or that his baby girl was old enough to start emulating her mother and have discussions on three subjects at the same time.

He walked up to Donna, kissing her.  He had missed her, missed his kids.  Twelve days away had been too long, and it made him seriously consider retiring early. But there was only a few months left.

 

* * *

 

 

**“What right do you have to come on board my boat and threaten my crew?!”**

_Frances ‘The Deep_

(5/4)

 

“I want to nail them to the wall, Leo,” Jed softly, looking through the window at Josh.  “They threatened me, they threatened my kids.”

“I’ll be there with the hammer, Sir.”  Leo said, conviction in his voice. “Though I don’t think I have to to say how difficult it is to prosecute this.”

“No,” he replied, his voice showing his disappointment in the fact. “Sometimes I wish we didn’t have to stick to the book.  I’d like to throw that book out and slam it in their faces.”

“Me too,” Leo said with a sigh, taking one last look at Josh.  “But till we can lift the book,we have to work with it.”

 

* * *

 

 

**“Now maybe- maybe all of this has been too fast, and I know that’s scary and maybe I didn’t ask you the right way. But I just want us to be together. So I’m asking you now- will you marry me? Will you marry me today?”**

_Gallant ‘ER’_

(5/7)

 

Josh paced.  Donna slept feet away, unknowing of the conflict brewing in her boyfriend’s (at least he hoped she considered him that at least)’s mind.  He had written her a letter.  One explaining everything he had trouble saying out loud and to her face.  But it also included a proposal.

Was it too soon?  He had known for a long time that Donna was it for him.  Probably subconsciously long before that.  But he knew most people would frown on proposing to your girlfriend after a month of being together, especially as you haven’t even referred to each other in a quantifiable relationship term.

On the other hand, going straight to wife seemed more efficient.  Donna liked efficiency.  Although this was a wedding proposal, not a business one.  It should have more romance than “Hey, I love you, and I am spending the rest of my life with you, so lets go sign a paper that tells the government that.”

Maybe he should get flowers. He had the ring.  His mother had handed it to him after Gaza and he had thrown it in his carry on before leaving his apartment. But maybe flowers would be nice.  Where could he get flowers at four in the morning?

Or maybe he should wait till they were at dinner.  Isn’t that supposed to be romantic?

In the end, not sure if it was the right decision, he just placed the folded pieces of paper on the pillow beside her and went to take a shower.  If the proposal was too soon, or not romantic enough, he was happy to redo it if she wished.

As long as she said yes.

 

* * *

 

**“But asking you to stay would be asking you to die.”**

_Kathryn Janeway ‘Voyager_ ’

(5/8)

 

As Jed sat in that hospital room, he couldn't help but think of the fight.  How his friend had left after that fight and ended up nearly dying in the forest at Camp David.  After so many years, when had he stopped trusting his best friend?  

He had wanted to take the words back, to ask his friend to stay Chief of Staff, but he knew he couldn't.  It would end up killing Leo, he knew that.  Leo would run his heart out for the President. Would die with his boots on as the old saying went.  So he couldn't ask his friend to come back.  He'd rather have a new COS then have his friend ruin his health.

He looked around at the people who came in and out, doing their jobs but also concerned for their friend and boss.  Many would expect Josh to fill Leo's shoes, and to be honest that had been Jed's first thought.  But they were nearing the end now. Someone needed to find the next Real Thing, and Jed believed Josh was the one to be Leo to whoever that man or woman was.  Josh was not meant to be the Chief of the man leaving office.  Toby didn't have the personality needed to run the office.  

So when Leo mentioned CJ's name, he wasn't surprised.  CJ had the people skills, knew how to delegate and had run the press office efficiently.  SHe had been an excellent choice.

And his friend had time to heal.

 

* * *

 

**"I dipped my toe in the revolting dating pool"**

_Fiona ‘About A Boy’_

(5/13)

 

So Josh was right.  This guy was another gomer to add to the pile.  Charming at first meeting.  Intelligent enough to get through that first conversation without letting on what a bore he was.  But when it came to the actual date he had been boring, a bit condescending about her job, and frankly couldn't hold a candle to the intellect of the people she worked around on a daily basis.

Not that she really cared about that.  She wanted someone intelligent, but it was hard to compare to people who were borderline geniuses.  However she would at least like a congressman's aide who actually knows about the state he's working for.  Aaron had been working for the Senator from North Dakota and couldn't even weigh on issues like the Black Hills.

He hadn't even known what the Black Hills were.

So here she was, almost glad to get Josh's call simply to get out of a really bad date, hoping that her dress was still returnable.  Not that she would tell Josh either of these things.  His ego couldn't get much larger, and part of her job description  (or at least the Toby-ized version) was to make sure that ego could actually fit in the room with him.  So, no, he wouldn't be told that she had a bad date.  She would let him believe she was annoyed, that she was infringed upon.  Most of the time she was, anyway.  

And maybe she'd even pretend like she was considering giving Aaron from North Dakota who didn't even know North Dakota politics a second date.

 

 


	26. May '14 Prompts Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 2014 prompts (2/3)
> 
> 1\. Santos feels out of the loop  
> 2\. Donna in the aftermath of quitting  
> 3\. Josh in the aftermath of Donna quitting  
> 4\. Josh and Donna at Ellie's Wedding

**“Apparently not early enough, I missed all the excitement.”**

_David Rossi ‘Criminal Minds’_

(5/17)

 

Santos often wished he had been more familiar with Bartlet’s people.  There were stories that he was missing, hidden things he wish he could uncover.  Mostly about his campaign manager. Santos was glad, most of the time, for Josh’s stubbornness and tenacity, but sometimes he wish he just knew what the guy was after you peeled away the Democrat legislature machine and just saw him.

And as he inherited other members of Bartlet’s crew, he started to wonder more.  Particularly after Donna Moss joined the team.  And then Leo.  It was clear there was more to Josh than what met the eye.  Side comments and looks that communicated more than what was said made that clear.  These two people knew who his campaign manager was.  

He asked Leo about it once.  It was clear that Leo saw Josh as a son of sorts, and Santos had heard the same from other people while he worked in the Senate.  He figured Leo would know.

“Its hard to explain Josh,” Leo had said simply. So Santos started to watch his campaign manager.  Started to notice things.

Like the fact that his campaign manager was about to work his way into an early heart attack (and with a heart surgery already on his history, Santos wasn’t sure that was just a saying in Josh’s case).  Or the fact that Donna seemed to be both a calming balm to the man and something that stressed him out even more.

So when Josh took off on that vacation Santos was not surprised to find out that his wife’s Chief of Staff had gone with him.  Still, it didn’t stop him from trying to get stories out of Sam Seabourn.

 

* * *

 

**“I know it’s tough but you needed to say it and he needed to hear it.”**

_Olivia Lockhart ‘Cedar Cove’_

(5/19)

 

Almost as soon as she left, she started getting phone calls from her friends back in the White House begging her to come back.  Never Josh though.  She heard all about his reaction.  Apparently he had been confused as to how much she had meant what she had said.

Part of her thought she had been a bit too abrupt.  Perhaps she shouldn't have just quit in the middle of the hallway.  Waited till they were at least alone.  But she knew if she had he would have had the space and time to convince her not to quit.  And she had to quit.

She had long ago come to terms with the fact that she was half in love with Josh.  But it wasn't till the convey that she realised that it was impacting her professionally.  And the fact he hadn't taken her seriously made her wonder if he ever knew at all.  Or maybe he knew and figured she would forget herself and come back.

But she also heard the rumors of how much had been dumped on Josh's plate.  He was running the white house in CJ's absence, Running the DCOS office as well, with several crisis all coming down on his head.  He hadn't had the time to adjust to her not being there and apparently it was noticeable.

But it surprised her even more when a few weeks after she quit she found out that he had quit too.  She felt slightly amused at the fact, as if he had crumbled without her there, had figured out how much he had relied on her, but it wasn't for long.  Because she recalled how hard Josh worked, and how much everyone relied on him too.

She guessed it was just the time the straw broke for both of them.

 

* * *

 

**"I don’t know if anybody should, or can, just let me get through one humongous life change at a time.”**

_Abby ‘ER’_

(5/22)

 

Donna was gone.  It had finally settled in that his assistant, the woman who had been his best friend, his sidekick and most relied upon colleague was gone.  It had taken a few days.  The first day she was gone, he thought she was just trying to show him how serious she was about quitting.  In the future.  But after day three it was clear to see the scary temp was there to stay and his Donna was gone.

He felt like life was crashing down around him.  Not just because of Donna, but Donna had been the one holding him up so he felt the crash and crushing weight more so now that she wasn't there.  Scary Temp didn't understand him half as well, and wires were crossed and things weren't running smoothly because Scary Temp had more than just Josh wondering what was going on.

He was running the entire office, doing CJ's job and his own, and Donna's.  There was a satellite crashing into the planet  (and remembering making fun of Donna was not making him feel better).  He felt stifled, and underutilised when he wasn't doing the job of three people.

And now Donna was gone, and he had no one to go to make sense of everything.  Of why he felt like quitting this job, a job he had truly loved till a bomb went off in car in Giza, and going to make Santos President.

He couldn't bring himself to call her, to talk through it with her.  She was gone, and the way she had left had told him everything he needed to know.  She was more than just gone from this job.  She was gone from his life and he would just have to deal with it.

And that weighed heavier on him than anything else.

 

* * *

 

**“You got lots of nights. Smart people who love you are gonna have your back.”**

_Abbey ‘The West Wing’_

 

“Josh.”  He looked up from the map to see Donna looking down at him in concern.  THe Wedding had gone without a hitch, and most of the crowd was in the ballroom enjoying the pre-meal dancing.  He had snuck out for just a second to see if he could figure another element out.

“Donna.”

“Do I need to make a rule?”

“About what?”

“About leaving that till after the party.  About enjoying yourself and relaxing for at least one night out of the 365?”

“I just need...”

“No.  You don’t.  What is done is done, Josh.  Don’t make me get the President and Leo involved.”

“You drive a hard bargain.  Alright,” he said, folding the map.  Before he could put in his pocket, she took it and put in her clutch.

“I’ll keep that. I’m not stupid enough to allow you access.  As soon as my back is turned you’ll be back to it.  You have priors.”

“Fine.”  He had to admit that even if it wasn’t the same banter as before, hearing her care for him and order him around to keep him from being his own worst enemy was nice to have again.

 

  
  



	27. May '14 Prompts Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 2014 Prompts (3/3)
> 
> 1\. Josh and Donna sneak looks  
> 2\. Josh misses Leo  
> 3\. Donna contemplates her new job

**“Did you just look at my boobs again. Yes, you did. Good god. One track mind!”**

_Fiona ‘About A Boy’_

(5/27)

 

Josh didn't really like it about himself, but there were times when he actively checked out his assistant.  She was a beautiful woman, but he usually tried not to.  Mostly out of self-preservation.  If CJ caught him ogling Donna, he’d probably be in pieces, and that's only if CJ got to him first.  Donna would probably do worse.

But there were times, when he was tired or a little inebriated where the firm voice in his head that said that was off limits was sleeping on the job and he allowed himself to look at her.  Usually when the two of them were alone.  Sam and Toby had enough ammunition against him, and there was the previously mentioned threat of CJ.  Which was probably the same reaction he would get if the President got wind of his less-than-professional behavior.

But, he felt less guilty after catching Donna do the same thing. Not that he didn’t tell himself to stop, because she was off limits, but it didn’t seem quite so..creepy for lack of a better word if she was doing the same.  And flattering, he would admit if you caught him on his weaker days when he couldn’t quite get up the denial facade.

And if he made sure on some nights when they were alone to wear the suit Donna liked, well, he wouldn't admit that to anyone.

 

* * *

 

**For the last 15 years you’ve been my role model, but most of all you’ve been my friend. And I don’t know what else to say, except I’m really going to miss you.”**

_Carla ‘Scrubs’_

(5/28)

 

As he stood next to the casket he felt hollow. It still didn't seem real that the man who had become a father figure to him in the absence of his own was now gone, his body held in a wooden box draped with a flag.  Looking around him, he found everyone seemingly in the same thought.  The idea that Leo McGarry, the pushing force behind so much was gone sounded ludicrous.  But he was.

And Josh never got to thank him.  Never got to tell him how much he loved and respected the older man.  To tell him about Donna, and discuss their plans for the future.  He would never get to see Leo as Vice President, something he had wanted since they had to choose a replacement for Hoynes.  Leo would never get to see his grandson grow up, or get to share in the joy and Josh and DOnna had at finally crossing that line and having..something.  Josh wasn't sure what it was they were doing, but he never got the chance to tell Leo.

And he knew it was more than that.  Leo had other things he was looking forward to doing.  To being Vice President.  To finding love again in Annabeth who sat unnaturally still in the front pew beside the late man's daughter.  The two of them holding hands tightly enough that their knuckles were white.

Leo was going to miss so much.  And Josh was going to miss him even more.

 

* * *

 

**“This is your chance, honey. This is your chance.”**

_June Carter ‘Walk The Line’_

(5/30)

 

Donna had expected many things whens he took the job at the Vice President’s Campaign office.  Some of them she got. Her own office for example, better pay (although not by much), and a chance to grow.  She didn’t feel the blind optimism she had felt with Bartlet, but she was fine with that.  The Vice President was not a completely unlikable candidate.

She lost many things as well, though.  The day to day interactions with many of her friends in the White House.  The Loose organizational style that the DCOS office had held.  Things were more formal with the Vice President and he didn’t have the skill Josh had of sounding like he was taking into consideration what the person was telling them even if he planned to tell you know anyway.  Will was a great campaign manager, but it was a different style and she wasn’t used to it.

And on her better nights, when she was more able to look at her choices, she would admit she missed Josh himself.  Missed his professional style, yes but more often she just missed him on a personal level.  Missed their moments that told a story that they hadn’t been able to handle.  Missed his jokes, even the unfunny ones.

She knew this was the right choice.  It was what was best for her, and for her career.  But there was still times when she just missed her best friend. Missed talking to him about issues, missed his ability to explain things, or listen long enough to let her figure things out for herself. Sometimes she caught herself wanting to call him and talk about some exciting new thing she had found out.

But she couldn’t.  Not anymore. 


	28. June 2014 Prompts Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth Lyman has a plan, Donna and Josh finally dance, Josh doesn't deal well with Gaza, John Hoynes lives with his mistakes, and Donna observes Josh with the Santos Campaign.

**“That’ll be me someday, that’s gonna be me.”**

_Morris ‘ER’ (6/1)_

 

Lizzie had known since she was little that she wanted to grow up like her mom, to help pass laws and get things done.  She had loved going to work with her, sitting in the corner as the adults argued policy.  Which made her extra excited when her government class had elected her to go to the White House tour for gifted politically minded students. She had written an

When her essay about policy got her a ticket to visit the white house and talk with the staff.  Her father had been proud, had told her stories about tours he had overseen with their mother.  Talking with future political operatives, including a freshman senator from Arizona.

She loved the tour, loved the lectures they got.  And she knew without a doubt that she was going to be there someday, walking these halls having a mile-a-minute conversations about policy.  She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she was willing to make the effort.

That was going to be her someday.

* * *

 

 

**“Well. Here we are again.”**

_Pete ‘Outnumbered’ (6/5)_

 

"Well, here we are again,"  Josh said, hands in his pockets, practically hopping in excitement.

"Yes, here we are."  Donna replied with a smile, walking over to him to put her arm through the one he offered.  "Although at least this time there is more of a chance of us dancing."  Both of them were expected to stay near the President and First Lady to run interference about who they were talking to among the ambassadors and honored guests during the various balls, but there was going to be plenty of time to dance themselves.

"Yes, you are truly a citizen this time around."

"Like that was going to be the reason we didn't dance that time."

"Yes, I suppose Amy would have frowned upon dancing with another woman."

"I suppose she would."

"Well, in either case, you look wonderful and I would be amiss if I didn't lead you onto the dance floor."

"Thank you.  And before you ask, I am *not* calling you wild thing.”

 

* * *

**“I take it all back! Don’t take him, just, not him. Anyone but him.”**

_Jack Harkness ‘Torchwood’ (6/6)_

 

Josh tried watching the news, tried to make himself concentrate on what was going on. But his thoughts kept drifting back to the woman sleeping in the bed behind him. He was expected on a flight to Virginia in the morning, but couldn't bring himself to leave the room to go back to the hotel he had finally taken because he couldn't stay all hours anymore. Especially since Mrs. Moss was there to comfort her daughter.

The fear was still there. It was less, but a part of him still thought he would turn around and she would be gone again. He would never forget that moment, walking into her room and seeing all those wires and tubes on the ground, red splotches against the white linoleum floor.

He couldn't quite deny it anymore, though he wasn't sure what to do with the information or what he could do in general. All he knew is that he couldn't lie to himself anymore. Donna was more than just his very efficient assistant. She was more than just one of his best friends. She was the closest to everything someone could be to him.

There were very few people he would rush away from a crisis at the White House for. Sam, maybe. His mother. Toby he would make sure to call every hour or so till Andy told him to not call again. CJ he would be making sure she didn't come back to a mess

But Donna shut his brain down and thankfully Leo had been understanding.

Just how to deal with that information.

 

* * *

 

 

**“Well, you know now that you mention it I’ve been having this recurring dream about killing you what do you think that means?”**

_John Hoynes ‘The West Wing’ (6/9)_

_(I couldn’t find a story in me that relates to the quote, but I could find a story that relates to the character saying the quote)._

 

John Hoynes sat in the darkened room sipping at his beer as he watched as Matt Santos won the nomination. He knew exactly why that man was standing there and he was sitting alone at 3 in the morning watching convention coverage.

The first notch Santos had was getting Josh Lyman on board. The kid was a mastermind at political races. Once he retired from the white house, there were going to be campaigns a plenty wanting him. Hoynes himself had once known that too. Josh had been on his team back when Bartlett ran the first time. And somehow Josh knew when the jump ship.

And taught his assistant that too. Donna Moss was the reason for the more recent of his various downfalls. He couldn't blame her, this was all on him, but he couldn't help but be annoyed that Russell had her on his team instead. And he could probably win a good bet in saying that Santos would be snatching her up as soon as the campaign switched over to General.

And he wouldn't be a part of it, and it was his own damn fault.

* * *

 

 

**"How come you never tortured me, you know like, when I first started?"**

_JD 'Scrubs'_ _(6/11)_

 

It was odd to watch Josh interact with the new campaign crew. It was so different from the Bartlett team. Sure, it was 8 years ago, and Josh had been more idealistic and less cynic (though to be fair, she didn't think the idealism had completely left Josh). She remembered him loving to show her the way, explain processes and the way things worked. Josh loved playing the teacher. Loved installing knowledge in others. And most of the time it wasn't an ego thing, he just loved sharing what he knew.

But that didn't seem to be the case anymore. Less love, more lecture. Otto and Braum didn't get the personal one-on-one teaching she had.

At first she had wondered if maybe it was because she was his personal assistant, around him all the time, but after meeting Melonie, the intern who was supposed to be Josh's personal assistant but ended up spending most of her day helping Ronna deal with the Congressman's desk. Josh barely talked to her.

She didn't think it was the spark in their relationship. Even before they got close, when they had just met and he only had eyes for Mandy, he had still taken the time to teach her what he knew.

She had to wonder what had changed.


	29. June 2014 Prompts Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna gets a surprise in her office, Sam gets a surprise that shouldn't be a surprise when he runs for office, Toby makes a phone call (language warning),

**“It’s not right you haven’t heard it, it was meant for you.”**

_Frances ‘The Deep’ (6/15)_

 

"I love you."  Donna's head snapped up, and she ignored the twinge of pain the action caused. She hadn't expected anyone in her office and she certainly hadn't expected love declarations.

"What?"

"I love you."  Josh walked into the room, towards where she stood at the desk.  "I realized that in the past month we've been together I've never had the chance to tell you that.  But I do.  I might not know where we are going, or where we should be, as we clearly never understood that, but I do know that I love you and I want to be with you.   I wanted to work with you too, but as I have recently learned that is not going to happen at the same time.  Not if I want the rest of it."

"Alright."  She looked at him thoughtfully.  "While its good to know all this, what caused you to rush across the building to tell me in the middle of a work day?"

"I've been so stressed out lately, and I guess it was getting vividly noticeable by the other people in the office.  And then both Sam and the President-elect both kind of kicked me out and told me not to come back for a week.  So how does Hawaii sound?"

"Josh, maybe you should sit down."

"I don't need to sit down.  Would you like to go to Hawaii with me.  I hear that is where all former bosses take their former assistants to."

"Former Boss?"

"An applicant for future partner, if I haven't missed the deadline."

"You want to run away together?  In the middle of transition?"

"Fly probably, but that is the general idea."

"I can't just..."

"Oh, yes you can."  They both turned to see Helen Santos standing in the doorway between the first lady's temporary office and the sitting area that Donna was currently working out of as an office.  "I don't think I am unable to go without my chief of staff for one week when my husband obviously can.  Go.  Enjoy a vacation, you deserve one."

"I..."  Donna was at a lost for words but then she saw the look on Josh's face and realized she was coming off as if she didn't want to go.  "Alright.  I guess I should go pack." His face lit up and he nodded.

"I need to go too."  He leaned in and kissed her, in front of the First Lady and frankly anyone who passed in the hallway.  "Love you."

"Love you too,"  she said in response, not knowing if he heard her as he was already out the door, walking with the same determination usually reserved for making Republicans cry.

 

* * *

 

**“Hey, I feel for you, but we all made mistakes when we were young.”**

_Pratt ‘ER’(6/16)_

 

"You had to know that would come up," Josh said over his paper as Sam stormed into the room.

"Really? I should have expected that the world didn't have a wick of common sense to understand the situation?"

"No, you should expected the fact that you are running for State Senator, that the people want to know the juicy details, and the fact that you once slept with a call-girl was going to be a topic for which the bloggers would be weeping for joy."

"Thanks for the support."

"Luckily for you, your mistake ended up being a pretty minor one and after tonight I don't think anyone is going to care that you made some really bad choices in sleeping partners prior to finding your wife."

"Oh, god. Ainsley. We never really discussed this."

"Ten years you have been married, after about three years of dating and several years before that working together and not once did you bring up Laurie?"

"Thank you for finally saying her name. No. We didn't. I think I tried to bring it up once but Ainsley was in favor of "let's not talk about the ex's".

"Yeah, you should have ignored that. It's going to bite you in the ass."

"Thank you Josh for that information. I totally did not know that before you decided to tell me."

Josh smiled. "That's what I'm here for buddy."

 

* * *

 

 

**"Just fucking tell me man."**

_Russell Howard 'Good News'(6/19)_

 

Sam got the call early in the morning.  He was up, having just gotten home from his run, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek as she mumbled nonsense and burrowed back into the pillow.  It had been an idyllic morning.  Great weather, a good run, his girlfriend sleeping in his bed and as he cracked the eggs into a skillet a good breakfast was about to be made.  

But then he got the call.

"Sam,"

"Toby?"

"Yeah.  Look.  Something's happened."

"What?"

"...and I think you need to call Josh."

"What happened."

"Josh really needs to talk with someone, and I have half a dozen things I need to do here so it can't be me so it's gotta be you."

"Toby.  Just tell me what happened."

"Turn on your TV."  And when he did Sam felt his heart drop even further then when he started to worry at Toby's avoidance.  A car bomb. "Donna was in the car."

He could hear the eggs burning behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

 


	30. June 2014 prompts Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo has had a good day, Jed deals with having too much power, Josh basks in his new freedom, and Josh realizes its too late.

**“Life is a hell of a thing to have happen to a person”**

_Rossi ‘Criminal Minds’ (6/20_ )

 

Leo smiled as he walked into his room, removing his suit jacket as he went.  Today had been a good day.  He felt like things were all coming together.  Tomorrow, if all went well, he'd be answering his calls with Vice President McGarry.  And if all things went well, he'd be attending the Inaugural ball with his partner, Anabeth.  She was so much younger then him, it seemed silly to think she could reciprocate his feelings, but she did.  They had been together for a little over a month now, lovers for the past week or so.  

Molly might be surprised, but he thought she would like Anabeth.  

And to top it off, Josh seemed to have finally bought himself a clue and was sneaking off with Donna. Everyone said they were off dealing with voting, that Donna was making sure he calmed down, but he had caught their eyes once and he could tell that they were excusing themselves for a less than calm activity.  And while he certainly did not want the details, he was happy that they finally figured things out.

Yes, Life was doing him well today.  A shower seemed in order.  He needed to be ready for the night.

 

* * *

**"There are rules, even in war."**

_Jonathan Archer 'Enterprise' (6/22)\_

 

The room was too silent.  He could almost hear Leo pacing in the next room, could hear the soft voices of Charlie and the various secretaries. Jed wished the door was open, that he could join them.  But this was his decision to make.

There were rules. Rules not written, but nonetheless there, rules that could cause problems down the line if he forsook them, but at the same time he couldn't deny that to delay would cause more deaths, more casualties of terror.

When you ran for President you thought about the domestic issues, about going to war.  You never thought about a silent night wondering if you should assassinate someone because he was planning on blowing up landmarks in your country.  

And the aftershocks of what he was about to decide upon could affect more than just the immediate.  It would affect the country for decades to come, and it would affect the world stage.

And the decision lay on his shoulders.

* * *

 

 

**“I’m not even addressing the sex situation yet so simmer down hun.”**

_Dakota ‘About A Boy’(6/24)_

 

They had a lot to talk about, he knew that, but for the moment he was ignoring all that and basking in the ability to hold her tight and feel her around him.  For so long he had had to hold back.  They had always been affectionate towards each other, and more than once someone had commented on the fact that they seemed to ignore personal space when it came to the other.  But there was a difference between lightly putting his hands on her hips as he passed in her in a tight space to wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close in what was clearly not a platonic arrangement.

She seemed to have no qualms about it either,  but he wondered if she was having as much trouble adjusting as he was.  It wasn’t so much learning to love her as a significant other as much as unlearning the trained behavior to stop just outside the line that shouldn’t be crossed.

And that was just the cuddling, and holding hands bit.  The sex bit was a bit easier if only because they had never been close to that particular line, having always stayed far from it except for a few times around the second inaugural.  But it was mostly unexplored territory and the awkwardness there was the general awkwardness that came from learning someone new and familiar at the same time.

But for now he was just going to enjoy the fact that he could hold her and kiss her anytime he wanted.  The rest could wait till the plane landed.

 

* * *

 

 

**“Please don’t go, don’t leave me.”**

_Jack Harkness ‘Torchwood’ (6/25)_

 

He wanted to call, to beg her to come back but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was a paradox of emotion, but it was true. Besides he knew the truth. He couldn't offer her more, it wasn't in his power. It wasn't even in his power anymore to really ask those who did have it in his power.

He had been having Toby work on seeing about moving her into a deputy Press secretary position. The guy who had been doing the domestic issues for the last year was leaving to work at a magazine, soa spot was opening up. However, there were certain requirements asked of the position and Toby had to see about changing a few things so Donna could avoid being rejected because she never finished college, and was transferring over from a much lower position in people's minds.

They all knew better.

But it had taken too long, and Josh had been avoiding talking to her about just in case Toby fall through. Not that it mattered anymore. Donna was gone, now working for Russell. In a few days he would be gone too, so it wouldn't matter who or when the position would be filled.

He still had to stop himself sometimes from calling her and asking.

 

"There are rules, even in war." 

Jonathan Archer 'Enterprise' 

(6/22)

The room was too silent.  He could almost hear Leo pacing in the next room, could hear the soft voices of Charlie and the various secretaries. Jed wished the door was open, that he could join them.  But this was his decision to make.

There were rules. Rules not written, but nonetheless there, rules that could cause problems down the line if he forsook them, but at the same time he couldn't deny that to delay would cause more deaths, more casualties of terror.

When you ran for President you thought about the domestic issues, about going to war.  You never thought about a silent night wondering if you should assassinate someone because he was planning on blowing up landmarks in your country.  

And the aftershocks of what he was about to decide upon could affect more than just the immediate.  It would affect the country for decades to come, and it would affect the world stage.

And the decision lay on his shoulders.


	31. July 2014 Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. CJ turns forty and considers the things she didn't check off the list  
> 2\. Donna muses on Josh  
> 3\. Donna misses Josh

**"There are so many things I was sure I'd have in my life by now. Every birthday reminds me of what's still not there. This just turned out to be another day in the middle of nowhere."**

_ Margaret Houlihan 'M*A*S*H'  _

(7/4)

 

CJ tuned out the TVS, and settled back in her chair, grasping onto a single moment of calm in the circus that was now her life.  She wasn't sure how Leo had done this for seven years.  She was holding her own, but sometimes she couldn't wait till this was all over.

At the same time she was challenged.  She felt both overwhelmed and excited about what was coming on her plate.  But following those feelings was one of sadness.  As it was hard not to compare herself to Leo, she found herself comparing herself to him in other ways, and finding themselves too similar for her tastes.

She remembered having plans for her life.  Here she was, crossing Forty.  Her career goals not only got reached, but were surpassed in ways she couldn't imagine when she was planning her life in high school.  But the other items on the list had fallen to the wayside, and she wondered if she didn't regret that just a little bit.

She was happy, fulfilled and really didn't feel like she was truly lacking, but she had wanted things, like a marriage and a family too.  Leo hadn't managed to hold on to that so she didn't really hold up much hope for her to start something.  But on occasion she allowed herself to think about what she could have had.

It usually ran to Danny most of the time, sometimes Ben, on really bad days she thought of Simon.  The amount of kids she would have changed depending on the man.  Ben there would be none at all, but then again, she frankly didn't see that going anywhere even if she hadn't been a quasi-workaholic with a job that asked more than what one should have to give.  Simon she suspected would have wanted at least one, a little girl to dote on.

Danny she kind of imagined would have wanted five but would have settled for two if that was what she was willing to give him.  They were older, after all.  He'd accept none at all too, which would be a shame because she felt he would probably be a great father.  She hoped that whoever he ended up with would know that.  

She didn't like to think of it much.  She felt like it was betraying the other half of her that was so happy with the way things were going.  But it creeped in every once and awhile.

She had planned so much in her high school days, it was kind of surprising that it took her twenty years to figure out that nothing was going to go to plan, no matter how much you wanted it to.

 

* * *

 

 

**“We only part to meet again.”**

_ Kovac ‘ER’  _

(7/5)

If she didn't know better, she would have thought that someone upstairs hated her.  Kept throwing Josh into her path as a reminder.  At first she had been still too angry that he had ignored her for so long.  It was easy to just throw barbs his way, to treat him as if she didn't care.  But as the months went on, and her anger dwindled she started to remember how things were before Gaza, when he had been her best friend, the guy she talked to when she needed someone to talk to.

She had gone from daily doses to cold turkey, and after the initial joy of freedom she realized she was starting to feel the pain.  She couldn't even call him now.  She had said some things she wasn't proud of.  Not necessarily untrue, or unwarranted, but at the same time she had lacked a certain sense of saying it without making it stab. 

And she knew him well enough to know that despite what others might see, he had bled.  That look he gave her when he first saw her in Russell’s office.  Another look after she had hit him at the rally.  And that was also the problem.  If he had only fought back.  Sure he had sent the chicken after her, but she really had taken the bait on that one.  But overall he didn't fight.  She expected him to fight.  He always had.  She wasn't sure if she expected him to fight her like an opponent or fight her like they did when they got in the few tiffs over the 8 years they had known each other.

But he hadn't.  Just looked at her like he was disappointed and sorry at the same time, but couldn't say the words.    
She always took a shuddering breath after those encounters,  not sure if she was upset it was over, or afraid of what the next time would bring.  Because after all of this, she knew one fact for sure.  Josh Lyman was never going to be out of her life.

 

* * *

 

 

**“You’re talking to me like we’re friends. We’re not friends.”**

_ Marcus ‘About A Boy’ (7/15) _

Donna hated walking away from him. She wasn't sure why she had said what she said, and she needed to walk away before she made things worse. Made her relationship with Josh, which was now even less then friends worse.

She missed him. It was so clear how much a part of her life he was. The last few weeks had been awkward to settle into. No West Wing, no hallway meetings, no Josh. She heard references to the West Wing, but it was a 'them' not an 'us situation she wasn't used to anymore.

  
She smiled as much as she could as she reached the other volunteers at the corner, keeping herself from looking back at him, wondering if he missed her even half as much


	32. July 2014 II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Donna leaves  
> 2\. Donna's choice to be a mother is questioned  
> 3\. Toby thoughts on Will during the shutdown.  
> 4\. Leo wants to knock some sense into Donna & Josh

**“No. I won’t listen to you. I don’t want you to go. I’ll hate you if you do. I mean it. I’ll hate you if you leave me.”**

_ Julie Thatcher ‘When Calls the Heart.’  _

_ (7/18) _

 

There were times when Donna could bring herself to hate Josh.  When he ignored her, when he made everything but her a priority. Things were so messed up lately, and whatever might have been with Josh seemingly had disappeared in the time it had taken her to recover enough for transport to the States.

So as she left her office for the last time, a cardboard box full of memorabilia and personal artifacts that had made that cubicle her home for the last seven years. She hated him.

He had left first, she told herself.

 

 

* * *

 

**“Bloody woman. She hates anyone who’s had children, she looks on it as slacking.”**

Sue ‘Outnumbered’

(7/21) **  
**  


“I’m surprised you considered having children at this time.”  Donna raised an eyebrow.  While her pregnancy had gotten a bit of a surge in the news because of the cutey element of the chief of staff, few had commented on her decision to have children.

“I don’t follow,” she said simply.  She was meeting with Senator Rigoletti, a tall woman who wanted to be part of the First Lady’s agenda finding process.  

“Well, children are quite a burden, and I can’t imagine that will give you much time to do your job.”

“I think I can find a balance.”

“I certainly hope so, it would be a shame for the first lady to choose her Chief of staff only to lose her to motherhood.”  

Donna decided not to mention that since the First Lady was also a mother, that probably wouldn’t be much of an issue.  “Thank you for your input, Senator.  I’ll be sure to give the First Lady your ideas on an environmental agenda.”

 

* * *

 

 

**"If it weren't for prison I'd kill you!"**

Fiona’s Boss ‘About A Boy’

(7/22)

 

Toby glared at Will from his corner of the office.  He didn’t deal with people defecting very well, he knew this.  It seemed like he just got through dealing with Sam leaving and Will, who Sam had basically declared his successor, leaves.  Not to run for office like Sam, not to serve another honorable man, but to serve Russell.  That cardboard box of a man.

He could have gotten over it if it had been for a good reason, but it had simply been ego.  The idea that anyone would prefer working for the Vice President then President Bartlet was one he couldn’t really fathom let alone accept.  He still had trouble understanding why Colorado had thought something of him.  But then the electorate sometimes made stupid decisions.  It was the downside of their great democracy.

  
So yes, he would continue to glare at Will, for however long this shutdown lasted, and remind himself that punching him would probably get him jail time, and Andi and the President would be most displeased about a second arrest in only a few years.

 

* * *

 

 

**“Why don’t you either slap each other silly or kiss now and get it over with.”**

_ Neela ‘ER’  (7/23) _

  
  


Leo sometimes wondered if he should just throw caution to the wind and lock Josh and Donna in one of the broom closets until they dealt with whatever it was that they were. However, he reminded himself that as their boss it wasn't his business unless it affected the work of the office, which on most situations it did not. 

There were of course some exceptions.

He supposed if he were a regular boss, he would remind them that the flirting and innuendos would have to stop. To be honest, a few people had mentioned in passing they had thought the two of them were together because of their unique definition of platonic banter.

But sometimes, like tonight, he didn't care. He turned to watch Josh wrapping his arm around Donna's back and leading her into the ball, a giddy look on his face and didn't care. It was clear to him, and many others, that these two meant so much to each other.

  
Although sometimes he really did want to knock their heads together till they figured it out themselves what everyone else had already figured out..


	33. July 2014 Prompts Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Josh wants to be Leo  
> 2\. Jed considers the shooting  
> 3\. Jed wants to wreak vengeance  
> 4\. Sam considers his feelings for Ainsley  
> 5\. Josh gets used to Donna not being there

**"I wanna be like you... But a more successful you."**

_ JD 'Scrubs'  _

(7/24)

Josh wanted to be Leo. He wanted to be that kind of man. The Kind of man who could run the country with the President, to be the man who got things done. But he was aware of Leo's many faults as well.

He didn't want to be the man who rather work then come home and spend a night with his wife. The one who missed out on his children's lives. Who spent so much time at work he forgot what to do when there wasn't something there to do.

The problem was he could see himself going that way. Even as the President-Elect, and Sam pointed it out he already knew. He was going to work himself into an early grave, and leave with a ton of regret of what he did not do. Thankfully he had friends who saw the signs and pushed him to take a break. And a wife-ish person who wasn't about to let him walk over her with what she wanted out of their relationship.

He wanted to be Leo, but he didn't want to end up like Leo.

 

* * *

 

 

**“As I was being hauled out, I realized that every one of them had put lives’ on the line for me.”**

_ Edward Monclair ‘When Calls the Heart’  _

_ (7/25) _

Jed hobbled down the hospital hallway, walking towards his room.  The Doctors had ended his short trip to see Josh, had almost carried him away themselves.  After all, he had been on the table himself and needed rest.

He paused for a moment when he reached a point where he could see a tiny bit of the waiting area where he could still see Toby sitting in a comfortable chair, a yellow legal pad lying on his lap.  One hand held a pen, though Jed could only assume at this distance.  Probably working on what CJ would say to the press when they were ready for a statement.

He continued on into his room, suddenly wondering at the fact that all of them had been in danger that night.  He had already heard the stories.  How if Sam hadn't gotten to CJ, she might be dead.  If Josh hadn't stayed behind a little he would have been away from the ricocheting bullets.  If Toby hadn't looked as hard as he did, Josh would be dead.

If his daughter hadn't been pulled down so hard by her agent that she got sick, she might be bleeding herself.  Charlie might be dead because of prejudice.  Any one of them might.

It was a sobering thought, to know all these people's lives had been put in danger because he was President.

 

* * *

 

 

**“I know you’ve had it tough, but you ever come near my children again - I’ll kill you.”**

_ Eifion ‘Pobol y Cwm’ _

_ (7/27) _

Jed wanted to raise the place down.  He wanted to bring that man back to life and kill him himself.  He knew this was not the mindset he should have, either as a President, or as a man of faith, but he had trouble seeing his faith through all the anger.

This man had hurt his family.  HIs daughter had been ill in the backseat of a car.  A young man he might have as a future son in law was unfairly burdened with the fact that it had been because of his race.  The man he had, at least in his own mind, adopted as his own son lay in a hospital operating table, possibly dying.

It was hard not to want to wreak vengeance upon those who hurt his family.  In fact it was only the calming presence of his best friend and his wife that kept him turning his room asunder in an effort to purge himself of his emotions.

No one hurt his family.

 

* * *

 

 

**She didn’t like me very much.”**

_ Sam ‘The West Wing’  _

_ (7/28) _

 

Sam couldn't figure out why he was so fascinated with arguing with Ainsley Hayes. They had long since gotten past their initial dislike of one another (and she could argue but he knew she didn't like him the first time they met) that despite the difference of opinion (of which there was a great number) they got along.

And it kind of worried him how enthusiastic he got about arguing with her. Finding something that would cause her to argue with him. Sometimes he even made out to have a different opinion just to hear her talk about it.

Josh of course laughed about it, but then Josh had his own river to rule over.

 

* * *

 

 

**“It’s hard to get used to. Being alone.”**

_ Mark ‘ER’   _

_ (7/30) _

It took awhile to get used to her not being there.  Used to having to complete sentences, to being able to know without a doubt she would know what he meant when he said 'a thing', and used to just not seeing her.

He almost called her.  Almost walked into her office at the Vice President's office and ask her to come back, but he couldn't.  She was right when she said he held her back, although he had been trying his best to giver her something more.  And it was clear she hadn't forgiven him yet for sending her over there.

She didn't want him around, whatever the cause.  He had caught sight of her once, when he had been in the building tying up loose ends before he left office and she had seemed happy.  Happier than he had seen her in quite some time.

He figures that is when he finally got the message she wasn't coming back, not for the job and certainly not for him.

 


	34. December 2014 Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Donna survives  
> \- Abbey thinks on Marriage  
> \- Sam deals with shock  
> _ CJ would like to have some words.

**"Look around you! Everybody is dead!"  
** Arcady 'The Deep'  
(12/11)

 

Somehow she knew as she woke up that she had been the only one to survive.  As if she had been able to say goodbye as she was unconscious, or maybe they had come to her as they were passing on through.

Josh would probably laugh if he told her.  Not out loud, he was too sweet, but inwardly.  Thinking about how poor Donna believed that souls can visit people on their way to heaven.

She didn’t really believe in ghosts.  She believed people could leave imprints so deep you still felt them, but not in actual ghosts.  But when her older brother had died in a car accident when she was 16, she had felt him, felt like he was in the room with her as she did her homework.  Long before the phone rang with her mother answering then crying onto the phone.  He had been there,  saying goodbye in the only way souls could.  

But she told no one this.  Not even Josh who looked like he was about to shatter when he looked down at her with the love she had always hoped was there.

 

* * *

 

 

**"Marriage is a lifelong battle."  
** _ Kelso 'Scrubs'  
( _ _ 12/12) _

Abbey Bartlett loved her husband.  And most of the time she liked him.  She supported him, she cared for him, and sometimes she even allowed herself to be the block between his anger and those he was was angry at. Those times she liked him a little less.

She had always thought that marriage was a happily ever after part of the story.  No one really tells you that you have to work on it.  That sometimes you get tired of their attitude and want to go away, but you need to bunker down and get through it.  That sometimes there is no such thing as compromise and you have to pick your battles and ignore the ones that just won’t come to a solution.

Marriage was hard work, and she was glad her partner was Jed.  She knew he worked just as hard as he could to keep things together.  She had seen marriages shatter beneath the weight of public service, but She and Jed had managed to get over those hurdles. 

They loved each other, and they would continue to have that happily ever after, even if it meant going through the not so happily on their way.

 

* * *

 

 

**“I guess you guys heard I got accidentally shot a little bit.”  
** _ Josh ‘The West Wing'  
_ _ (12/26) _

_ I’m not supposed to be here. _

No he wasn’t, Sam thought to himself.  But there was no meeting, nowhere that Josh was supposed to be at as he thought.  It was almost like he was stuck in sort of time loop.  But then Sam thought perhaps that was best, because who wanted to be trapped at the moment of getting shot.

Josh.  Was.  Shot.

His best friend, the man who was practically an older brother to him.  The man who had gotten him his current job, who had helped him when he needed help.  Josh. As the stretcher was taken past where he and the others could go, he stumbled to a wall and slid down, allowing the shock to wash over him.  He couldn’t even notice if any of the others reacted similarly, but he heard a few thunks so he supposed this hallway was littered with white house employees sitting on the floor.

He fingered the necklace he had in his pocket, and prayed this day didn’t have any more surprises for him, because he was about out of being able to deal with it.

 

* * *

 

 

**"I'm here to discuss something besides underwear"  
** _ Frank Burns 'M*A*S*H'   
(12/31) _

"She WHAT?"

"CJ!"

"Sorry," The tall woman said, pinching the bridge of her nose to keep from screaming. "She sent you Donna's underpants?"

"Yeah," Josh said. "Donna is all freaked out about it and needs someone to go apologise to Karen for the unintended panting."

"I don't think Donna's the only one who needs to apologize."

"If I had gone there would have been more of a need."

"Not you, bird brain. Karen."

"For returning the panties?"

"For mailing them to Donna's Boss when she could have mailed it directly to Donna."

"Oh. Well, when you phrase it that way it probably wasn't a good idea I brought them out into the bullpen."

"YOU WHAT?"

"CJ!"


	35. August 2014 Prompts I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Sam & Donna have a drinking contest  
> \- Josh comes to a realisation too late  
> \- Lou, Edie and Ronna discuss Donna & Josh

**“Let’s not ever do that again, okay.”**

Priscilla ‘Earth Star Voyager’ (8/01)

 

“Let’s never do that again.”  Sam said, looking slightly nauseous.  Donna giggled, feeling perfectly fine despite having just won a drinking contest against Sam Seaborn who surprisingly could handle quite a bit more than his best friend.

“You just are sad you lost.”

“No, I’m afraid my liver is going to revolt and form its own body.”

“Can it do it?”

“You wouldn’t be asking that if you weren’t as drunk as you were,” came a third voice and they both turned to see Josh leaning against a wall watching them.  He had a smirk on his face and despite the bleary sight they both had, they could be fairly sure the man was more sober than either one of them. “Your designated driver has arrived.”

“Who called,” Sam asked, his eyes narrowing. They had planned on taking a cab.

“CJ.  She said she left the two of you halfway through a bottle of tequila.  From what I see, that bottle is now gone.”

Donna seemly had no problems being chauffeured around by Josh.  She stumbled over to him to hug him. “I missed you today.” she said muffled into his sweater.  Sam had to look away from the look on his friends face.

Idiots, the both of them.  If Sam had someone who looked at him like either one of them looked at the other he wouldn’t be waiting like they did.  Questionable regulations or not.

“I missed you too.”  Josh had arrived home from an away trip with the President that afternoon but hadn’t been expected at the office till the next morning. “Now come pour yourself into my car.  I’m pretty sure the two of you are more than 80% alcohol now.

 

* * *

 

 

**“I have feelings for you.”**

_Will ‘About A Boy’ (8/5)_

It hit him on some idle tuesday.  They were working on paperwork, trying to get something passed for the president and he had looked over the desk at her and it had hit him.  She hadn’t looked prettier than normal, and there hadn’t been a traumatic event to push the epiphany through (no, that would come a few weeks later).  All he knew is that he looked at her and realised he couldn’t imagine her not in his life.

Now, it would be fair to say the epiphany came in stages over the years.  That first moment had started it, a few months later another kink  had been added to the chain when he had awoken from his anesthesia to find her in chair in his room, healthy and whole and he didn’t care what happened to him at that moment.  He was just glad she was safe.

And then a few years later when she had told him she wouldn’t stop for red lights (and again years later when he realised he wouldn’t stop either). And that moment standing in the snow when he realised his attraction to his right hand woman had grown into something surpassing what he felt for most of his significant others...and wasn’t that a bit weird?

But the moment that finally brought all the points together where the moment in New Hampshire when he stood leaning against a car on a Wednesday not so idle, his heart breaking as she walked away with a smirk on her face not because they had bantered but because she had driven home a shard of ice.  And for the first time he realised he was in love with her in a way that had formed who he was.  Everyone was a mix of experiences and influences and she had been such a part of both that the removal of her presence had brought him closer to shattering.

Well, in a sense.  He had shattered years before.  His pieces were glued and taped together carefully and were healing for the most part but this hadn’t helped that.

It was then that he realised that he wasn’t going to have her in his life anymore.  And it was his own fault.  He had pushed too far, pulled away at the wrong time.  

He loved her and he only realised when she was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

**“Congratulations, wow, I had no idea… I’ll shut up.”**

_ Coburn ‘ER’ _

_ (8/10) _

Lou rolled her eyes as Edie and Ronna returned to the war room giggling.  “Do I want to know what amuses you so much.”

“We found Josh.”

“And..”  Please _ Please  _ **_Please_ ** let this be something she wouldn’t have to answer to the press for.  The last thing they needed was Josh making a fool of himself while people were voting.

“We also found Donna.”

“About Damn time,” she said, relieved it was just Josh and Donna.  She honestly was more surprised that this hadn’t happened earlier, not with all that angry tension the two had when they first started working together.  And not with the rumors that surrounded their time with Bartlett.

“Wait, you already knew about this?”  Ronna asked. “I always assumed that Josh was too married to his work, or maybe asexual or something.  He never seemed interested in anything.”

Lou raised an eyebrow at that comment. “Please, that boy was head over heels for Donna.  You never had to deal with his sicking longing looks. He wasn’t interested because he was already in love with Donna.”

“Oh, God.”  Eddie said slapping her forehead.  “That key thing a few weeks ago. Damn it, it was so obvious.”  She sighed and put her hands down.  “At least we don’t have to worry about it interfering with the campaign.”  
  
Lou kept her disagreement to herself.


	36. August 2014 Prompts II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Donna and Toby joke with each other  
> \- Donna's first day  
> \- Donna is mad

**“What’s it like to be arrested?”**

_ Marcus ‘About A Boy’ _

_ (8/12) _

 

“What’s it like to be arrested”  Donna asked as Toby entered the room used as a war room for Sam’s campaign.  He rolled his eyes but had a slight grin as he shut the door behind him.

“What’s it like to have socialist connections.”  She stuck her tongue out at him.  Despite the wide array of things that had gone bad that day, she still felt in a good mood. “At least I can say I was jailed for a good cause.”

“I will concede that.  But seriously, what was it like?  Did they search you for skives?”

“Skives?”

“You know...spoon knives”

“I think, traditionally, those are referred to as  _ shanks,  _ and shouldn’t it be Spives? Or Sknives? __ And no.  Although I think Charlie was about to throw down with the police officer.  He might have had use for a whatchamacallit.”

“I got a friend to record the news coverage.  This is going to be fun to show your kids when they grow up.  
  
Toby just groaned in response, which just made Donna laugh.

 

* * *

 

 

**But when I consider who I am, I feel unequal to the call.”**

_ Elizabeth Thatcher ‘When Calls the Heart’ _

_ (8/16) _

She stood outside the office for what seemed like forever, but in reality was probably more like twenty minutes.  She was parked across the street, leaning against her car as other cars passed between her and the object of her watching.  A few tried to slow down to let her pass, which she declined with a thankful wave.

Finally she got enough nerve to cross the street and walk into the Campaign office of Josiah Bartlett.  She had driven halfway across the country because something told her she needed to be here.  She noticed a tall redheaded woman directing people.

“Excuse me,” she said, gaining the woman’s attention.  She smiled back at Donna.

“Volunteers go over to that table over there and sign in.” She said kindly before turning back to her task.  “I’ll be there in a second to assign you a duty.”  Donna nodded and started to walk over there.  She felt nervous.  SHe didn’t particularly have a skill set.  Unless one included dealing with a stupid boyfriend for too long a skill.

She had almost made it to the sign in table when she passed an office where the phone was ringing without anyone available to answer.  Seeing an opportunity she walked and picked it up.

“Hello,”  she began, taking a quick look at the door,”Josh Lyman’s office, how can I help you.”  As she listened she started organizing the desk, trying to find the message pad or something to write a message on.  Finally finding one she sat down and starting taking notes.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

 

**“I have two more but I’ll wait to share them with someone who listens to me, appreciates me…”**

_ Debbie ‘ER’ _

_ (8/30) _

Donna fumed as she sat down at her desk.  For the last couple of weeks she had been trying to have a lunch meeting with Josh to discuss her future.  However, he managed to avoid having one with her each and every time.

She understood that he was having a busy week, but surely he could spare a half hour to eat.  To talk to her.  Wasn’t she as important then a nuisance meeting with a Senator? Or meeting with NASA over that falling satellite.  She learned her lesson the last time on that score.

Why wasn’t she important enough for a few minutes of his precious time?

She looked up as she heard footsteps coming their way and noticed him coming towards her.  She stood up to meet.  She was going to try one more time.  If he ignored her once again, she’d quit.  
  
And for the first time she didn’t talk herself out of it.


	37. September 2014 Prompts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. CJ impresses Governor Bartlet.  
> 2\. Donna is Angry.  
> 3\. Donna and Josh discuss staff issues.  
> 4\. Toby, Josh and Sam watch the debate.

**“Hey, you guys are good how do you do that?”**

_ Bender ‘Futurama’ _

_ (9/1) _

 

Jed watched from behind the curtain as CJ started taking questions as his spokesperson.  He didn’t know who this woman was, only that she was an old friend of Toby’s and that Leo trusted Toby’s judgement.  Frankly Jed felt like he was under about 10 feet of water and not knowing his staff was half the problem.

But he was impressed with how she handled things.  She didn’t talk down to the reporters like Jacob had, acting like he had a secret that they couldn’t have.  She joked, she led the reporters where they needed to go, and in the end it seemed that everyone was happy.  The reporters felt they got the information they wanted, and he suspected they wouldn’t get quite so many follow up calls asking the same questions.

CJ was smiling as she got of stage, but she must not have known he was there because she stopped in surprise when she did notice him.”

“Good job, Ms. Cregg.”  He said and then walked away.  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, learning all these new people.  Now he just have to met this wonderkid that Leo was talking about, that apparently his eldest daughter knew from college and that Leo considered almost a son.

 

* * *

  

**“That is a slight exaggeration. I am very angry!”**

Fiona ‘About A Boy’

(9/2)

Donna was angry.  Angry at herself, angry at Josh.  Angry at the President.  Angry at CJ.  Just angry.

She was angry with CJ because CJ had dumped reality over her head in a manner that had gone beyond necessary.  On one hand she had to hand it to CJ, not everyone would tell her the truth.  She had just wished CJ had been a bit lighter in her handle of it.  And she hated being aware of the truth.

She was angry at the President for not realising what he had.  She knew this one was irrational and unfair and that just made her more angry.

She was angry at Josh because he couldn’t see her.  Sure he knew she was there, knew what to expect from her, but he never saw her.  Never saw the woman who loved him, the woman who was professionally stuffled.  And she didn’t understand it, which made her even more angry.  How could a man look you in the face like he did, with that look of pure happiness that she was even alive, like he had honestly felt she might not have been, and then go back to the status quo?

She was angry with herself for being angry.  It wasn’t Josh’s fault that she was suffocating at work.  That was her own damn fault.  Should have been more aggressive about it.  Josh didn’t like change, not in his daily routine. It added a calm to his stressful deal.  But he would have tried something if she had just pushed harder and made him realise she deserved more.

She was angry in herself for putting CJ in the position where she felt she needed to say what she did.  She was angry that she felt angry about CJ telling her it all.  What were friends but those who would tell you the truth.  

She was angry with herself for being angry with the President, for the man had just nearly lost a friend, and then had a massive attack and yet here was a woman who knew better blaming him for the troubles in her life.

There were mornings when she woke up and wanted to know when she’d stop being angry.  Other mornings where she was afraid that there would be nothing left of her if she did.

 

* * *

 

 

**“I’m sorry, you were right. I should have listened to you.”**

_ Neela ‘ER’ _

_ (9/7) _

“I’m sorry, you were right.”

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”  she said, grabbing the diction tape recorder from her desk drawer and holding it up to him.

“You’re funny.”

“I do ask that you be more specific,” she teased, putting the recorder down. “What of the many things I was right about and you were wrong are you talking about.”

“Amy.”

“Ah.  Not dealing well with the locals?”

“Not really.  I think she thinks she has some pull with me because we are friends.”

“I could have told her she didn’t.  I’m the only one with pull.  Mostly because I can say philately.”

“I do love it when you use big words.  But seriously, we need to find some way of buffering the newbies from Amy on Crusade till they build up enough of a tolerance.  Sam and Lou are fine, but Otto and the others are going to be run over.”

“Ah, let them.  They’ll met the challenge I bet.  Besides, isn’t Amy supposed to be fighting for the president this time around?”

“Doesn’t mean she won’t do what she did the last time.”

“Poor Baby.  Your ex getting to you.”

“Shut up. At least most of your exes are far away.  You don’t have three of them working for you.”

“I don’t think Joey thinks of herself as working for you...or considers herself an ex.  One request for a date does not a relationship make.  

“Shut up.”

“You.  My office.”  But she leaned over and kissed him.  “Go fix the Amy situation.  Then we can talk Philately

* * *

 

**“They’re gonna kill themselves... Wanna watch?”**

_ Fetcher ‘Chicken Run’ _

_ (9/29) _

The three men sat in Toby’s office, the TVs all tuned into the Republican Debate.  Various states of stunned filled their faces.

“I can’t believe it,”  Josh broke the silence. “This is a presidential race, and this is what the Republicans serve up?”

“It's like watching a playground fight,” Sam stated not looking away. “Or a trainwreck.”

“It just makes Ritchie look better.”

“I don’t think he needs much help against this crowd.”

“Do you think they are in on it,” Toby questioned in a soft tone that told them he was half in his own thoughts.  “Like some sort of pact to get Ritchie elected by acting like buffoons?”

“No one in politics would ever make such a pact unless they were planning on retiring.”  Josh paused.  “Although Williamson hasn’t exactly acted like he’s planning on doing any governing soon.”

“You think Williamson is going to retire after this?”

“Might.  Vanders isn’t being as much of an idiot as the others, I bet he’s brokering a VP deal.

“Just great.  Two great idiots in the white house.”

 

* * *

 

 


	38. The October 2014 Drabbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Donna observes Josh & Joey  
> 2\. Donna had learned from Abbey  
> 3\. CJ Adjusts to Ainsley.

**“What I want to tell you is-- I have absolute faith in you. I trust you. I know you love me, and her, and I’m sorry I lost sight of that temporarily.”  
** Brennan ‘Bones  
(10/12)

When Donna had found out she was pregnant, she had been worried about her and Josh accepting the new responsibility.  They were both workaholics, he more then she, and she was afraid that they wouldn’t be able to adjust, wouldn’t be able to balance.

She still worried from time to time, but not as much now as she watched Josh laying on the floor next to their six month old son.  She wasn’t sure what they were doing, but Joey was laughing continuously in that baby laugh that couldn’t help but make you smile. 

Josh had taken to fatherhood so well.  Surprisingly, he had even adjusted better than she had. Not that there weren’t moments when they fought over what took priority as far as office emergencies went, but he had managed to learn how to delegate, how to trust those he put in place to do their jobs. Perhaps it was from running a campaign with a man who had small children instead of adult children like Leo and President Bartlet had.  Whatever it was, Josh had somehow found a way to balance being an amazing Chief of Staff to Santos, and making it home to see his son.

She decided to join them on the floor.  After all, she needed to know what was so funny.

 

* * *

 

 

**“I am your wife. I love you. You have a crisis. You have to deal with it. When it’s done, we’ll talk.”**

Abbey ‘The West Wing

(10/13)

Donna had learned a lot about being the political wife from watching Abbey Bartlet, and she found herself using those lessons as she and Josh started to develop a life together outside the office.  The one lesson she hadn’t quite figured out was the one to know when to leave it alone.

It had only been two years since she quit being Josh’s assistant, but she still found herself at times acting the part.  Trying to get him to tell her what was going on.  There was some he could tell her, and she understood there were items he couldn’t.  That hadn’t changed from before.  But she hadn’t expected the shift from being his assistant to being the COS of the First Lady would do.

Its like they had become team captains.  Same team, but different sports to abuse a metaphor.  She would get half the information as COS, but she couldn’t help like she could before.  It bugged her to see Josh suffering over something and knowing she couldn’t help him by either just listening or actively helping the situation.  
  
She wondered how Abbey had done that, how she had managed to know when to step back and simply just be there when her husband had issues he had to deal with on his own.  All she knew is it was not an easy thing to learn.

 

* * *

 

 

**“What makes you think I wouldn’t scream where there are people?”**

CJ ‘The West Wing’

(10/31)

CJ was still fuming when she walked into her office, shutting the door behind her with perhaps more force than was necessary.  It wasn’t quite slamming, but there was definitely leeway to debate that fact.  She sat down on the couch, tossing what she held in her hands on her desk and putting her head in her hands.

How could he think this was a good idea?  To bring a  _ Republican _ into the counsel office.  One who opposed them on most of their policies.  It would make life a little bit harder.  She would have liked to think that the people researching the legalities had their back and wouldn’t try to find the smallest loophole to condemn them.

On the other hand, she thought as she settled back against the couch, allowing her hands to fall to her lap,  Leo had a point.  Having someone who was the opposite side stand behind you and point out that it was right would be a good thing.  It would make it look like something no one could deny.  The public relations aspect of this would be beneficial. That is if Ainsley Hayes didn’t try to block them on every turn.  There was no way to ascertain right now what Ainsley might do.

But perhaps she should give Ainsley a chance.  After all, she thought with a growing smile, she did know how to bring her boys down a peg or two when they needed it.

 

* * *

 

Thus ends this first installment of Drabbles, as the Qoute challenge has been completed.  However I joined a new challenge, this time drabbles inspired by lyrics.  West Wing drabbles from this challenge can be found at the following:

[The Second Term: A West Wing Drabble Collection](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6458935/chapters/14782120)

 

 


	39. April 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna and Josh get their grove back.

I swear that I can go on forever again

Please let me know that my one bad day will end

I will go down as your lover, your friend

Give me your lips, and with one kiss we begin

**“I’m lost without You - Blink 182.**

(4/12)

 

It was funny that somehow they got their groove back towards the end of the campaign. Things had been so horrible between them for almost a year.  They had spent half the year not speaking, and then 10 weeks of barely speaking and when they did they were not very nice to one another. 

But then as they final weeks to the election started coming, things started to settle.  Almost if things were so hectic they forgot what had made them so angry.  They started to fall into the same patterns as before, yet different because they couldn’t completely forget the last year nor did they really want to.

But she hadn’t expected that kiss. Or how perfect a first kiss that was for them. Their whole relationship had been filtered through politics, it made sense that their first kiss would be inspired by political victory.  When she had been much younger, and hadn’t settled on the fact that nothing was ever going to happen, she had imagined what it would be like, if she and Josh could ignore the rules and do something about the looks and the energy that flowed between them at times.  If that kiss had happened during the second presidential election of Bartlett, she would have been prepared although still surprised.

This time she wasn’t.  And she wasn’t sure what to do about how that altered things.  The looks got longer, they started ignoring the line they had put in their relationship.  It was so different from how the last year had been that she was almost overwhelmed by it all.

Except she couldn’t  _ not _ move forward.  She needed to see where this was going to go, needed to finish it.  So she pushed the key across the counter.


	40. May Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jed has a setback in the strength of his faith.

_ And finding answers, is forgetting all of the questions we called home.  _

_ Passing the graves of the unknown _

_ As reason clouds my eyes, with splendour fading. Illusions of the sunlight _

_ The reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting. With love gone for so long _

_ And this day’s ending, is the proof of time killing all the faith I know.  _

_ Knowing that faith is all I hold. _

**“Shattered” by Trading Yesterday**

(5/2)

 

Jed was angry. He was angry at the men who shot him and his family.  He was angry at the men who couldn’t catch them fast enough.  He was angry at God for allowing it to happen.  He was just angry.

He knew the men who did their best to protect him and his family were not to blame, so his anger at them dwindled first.  The men who shot him and Josh were dead so that anger was aimed at a target that wasn’t there anymore.  As for God, what does one say to an omnipotent being who seemingly spared your life but challenged the life of a man you considered a son?

While ranting at God got all the anger that had been festering in him for the last year out, it gave him no answers.  His faith seemed damaged.  God had nearly taken Josh, and now he did take Delores, a woman who deserved a long life and happiness more than anyone he knew.  His only comfort was that she had died without feeling much pain and that she was now reunited with her sons.

But it didn’t help the rage, or the confusion.  It didn’t help to rant and rave at God, knowing that God probably had little care for the anger of a man he had given so much to.

But as he walked out of the Cathedral, he wondered if he would ever regain that unfaltering trust in his God again, or if he was always to be on this fence, believing that there was a God and knowing that God sometimes was not merciful.

**Author's Note:**

> You'll notice that this collection is connected to a series called the "Prompt' series. There are longer responses to prompts to be fond there, as well as longer fics that were inspired by the quotes and drabbles in this collection.
> 
> Thanks to Bee & Anna who keep reading my stories and brainstorming with me. And for introducing me to the prompt challenge that generated all these stories.


End file.
